I’m going to start out talking a little bit about who I am and how I am before I go into how I decided on the title of this particular blog.
“When there are too many assholes around,
I feel like its my duty to be a dick.”
― Hazar Emiral
It’s been a frustrating and exciting 8 years in this job and I can hardly believe how much time has passed and how quickly it has passed. I am currently preparing to leave my current location and move on to the next. At the same time, I have to study Spanish, write evaluations and a variety of other reports, think about what training I need, pack out my current house, meet and greet new people, think about the new requirements I will be facing in my new position … AND… continue staying up to pace on my current work. This adds additional pressure on maintaining my positive attitude and not breaking down or getting angry about things that are out of my control.
This is my third country and I love it and will miss it when I leave. I pretty much say that about every place I have ever been. This country though is super special to me (I probably say that about every country as well). The people in particular are super special to me (yes, I say that as well).
I think the country and its people like me as well. One of the things I really like about it is the people who live and work here very easily express their anger, their joy, their frustrations and their absolute happiness and faith. I love that because that is really how I am as well. Not everyone loves that about me and not everyone “gets” that about me. I do not hide much of what I am feeling and people pretty much know exactly how I feel as I am feeling it.
I am admittedly not a clear speaker. I talk in circles and “use too many words”. I can easily be led off topic (but do not believe for a second I have forgotten the original theme of the conversation). I’m often wrongly accused of being mad, frustrated, unhappy and way too abrupt…. but really I’m just trying to talk. The irony is, the people who do not feel that I am all of those negative things really see me as super happy, flakey, funny, light-hearted, and spontaneous person. I have been working on trying to meld the two versions of me into one package but seriously, when I lose it it is usually only after trying to be all of the positive forms of myself to obtain a positive result from a variety of people and no one is hearing me and the ones that do hear me do not understand how much effort it is taking to be so nice for so long.
Dalton: All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary. And three, be nice. – Roadhouse
Yes, I am sarcastic and some take that as being snide. Yes, I am abrupt and some take that as being rude. Yes, I am often too honest and some take that as being offensive. I swear I am really trying to tone that down as this personality type does not play out well in my current job. I’d like to think I’m not a dick.. but even I feel bad after I chastise myself and I have been doing that to me for over 50 years. I can only imagine how it might make someone else… who has not spent as much time with me as I have… feel bad when I try to make my instructions or advice heard and understood.
So as the pressure has been building and I have become increasingly frustrated about all that is currently on my plate, I have had to remind myself nearly every day to just chill.. (did I mention I am also doing a construction project on my house in the U.S. while being overseas.. so..yeah.. )
So there I was. Just minding my own business. Trying to get through the one thing that would lead to the next thing. Story of my life. Story of every person’s life I suppose. Sometimes trying to slow down and other times trying to just step it up a notch. But just trying to chill.. just chill.. and I look on the floor of my bedroom and see a worn out, folded over, dirty, typed document.
To be clear, this is not mine. I live alone. Where did it come from? Timely yes… but who knew that i was needing this message right now.. in my home.. seriously the universe must be keying into my breakdown. So basically because I probably have been being a bit of a dick lately and I am guessing this is a world wide phenom these days.. I thought I would share with the world what the universe shared with me. It’s good stuff.. it really is… so here goes.
Pretty good right? Still not sure where it came from. But obviously great advice. I am who I am (Sam I am) and have grown to be how I am from my many emotional stances. I am not always the nicest in my expressions but I want to always be nice in my intent.
I could do nice, but it’s just not as much fun. Being nice isn’t my biggest goal in life. I’m trying to be honest about who I am, and that’s not always nice. I’m not always the world’s cheerleader. Sharon Stone
The only difference between me and others is that they think they can change something with cute little poems, nice cards or embracing trees and being nice to little lapdogs. Henry Rollins
It’s no good being nice and young and naive. There’s no good in that at all. You’ve got to do it all yourself, and you’ve gotta learn quick. And you can’t look for sympathy either. John Lydon
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Philo
It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially – when we’d prefer not to be. Josh Radnor
Be kind, don’t judge, and have respect for others. If we can all do this, the world would be a better place. The point is to teach this to the next generation. Jasmine Guinness