Smultroställe


Smultroställe (n.) – Origin: Swedish – Definition: A special place discovered, treasured, returned to for solace and relaxation; a personal idyll free from stress and sadness.

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.  ~Alex Haley

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When I first read the word – Smultroställe – I thought to myself, “This word means family.”  OK that’s a lie.

When I first read the word – Smultroställe – I thought to myself, “What the heck is a smult-tro-sally”.  So i looked it up and thought to myself, “To me, this word actually means happy place”  The second thing I thought to myself was, “How in the heck do you pronounce this word?”

In complete transparency, I still do not know how to pronounce it, but I can unequivocally state that my smultroställe is not just my family but it is my every person in my world who has existed in my happy place.  Every person who has taken the time to reduce the daily drama and make me laugh.  It is every person who has laughed with me and not at me. (Even when they ARE sometimes laughing at me.)  It is every person who has chosen to spend time with me to create the millions of happy memories that I currently own.  The memories that I will have and cherish until the day I die. The happy memories that I will have and carry with me until I go beyond death.  Maybe to infinity and beyond.  My smultroställe is YOU.

I found my happy place the minute I saw you.  ~Sherrilyn Kenyon

To my million smultroställes.  Come on, you know who you are!

The most beautiful things are not associated with money; they are memories and moments. If you don’t celebrate those, they can pass you by. ~Alek Wek

I am a collection of thoughts and memories and likes and dislikes. I am the things that have happened to me and the sum of everything I’ve ever done. I am the clothes I wear on my back. I am every place and every person and every object I have ever come across. I am a bag of bones stuck to a very large rock spinning a thousand miles an hour.  ~Macaulay Culkin

When you finally discover your happy place, your soul will be more easily protected from all the darkness around.  ~Christine E. Szymanski

I collect memories. I look for opportunities to try new things, go to new places, and meet new people all the time.   ~Marcel Wanders

Happy places and memories:  Inspired; Suzy; Keyne; candice; Roth; kk; trent; Anita; carol; Rebecca~MM; Kait; Pete; Shweta; Smelly; Rad; Paean

Onism


Onism (noun) Origin: Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows | The awareness of how little of the world you will experience.

“The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time, which is like standing in front of the departures screen at an airport, flickering over with strange city names like other people’s passwords, each representing one more thing you’ll never get to see before you die.”

ETYMOLOGY: Portmanteau of monism (the philosophical view that a variety of things can be explained in terms of a single reality) + onanism (alternative word for self-pleasure).

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Taking a picture of folks on a bus and feeling a little sad that I am not on that bus because they appear to be having so much fun.  Even when I am enjoying exactly where I am and what I am doing.

Being ok with where I currently am (Malabo), but wistfully wishing I was back where I was (Croatia here). So magical.  Sort of the grass is always greener attitude, which I hate.

“I looked through others’ windows
On an enchanted earth
But out of my own window–
solitude and dearth.

And yet there is a mystery
I cannot understand–
That others through my window
See an enchanted land.”
― Jessie B. Rittenhouse’

Greener grasses:  SMB; J-DUB; Planetmom; Brittnjess; Sarah; herman; Liv; meatnpotatoes; Joyce; KG; bratty; ninjawhales; Lyna; Brendan

Novaturient


Novaturient (Adjective) Origin:  Latin | A desire for powerful change in one’s life or situation.

ETYMOLOGY: The word “nova” originates from the Latin novus meaning ‘new’.

“Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

So many “aha” moments in a person’s life.  Kids being born, family dying, graduations, marriages, big moves.  Or let’s just say an unexpected pandemic.  You start asking yourself questions.  Do I stay or do I go?  Do I settle or do I move on?

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“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
― Leo Tolstoy

My life has been about changing myself.  I have sought out continual change.  I have attempted to fit in where ever I am and who ever I am with.  I have never felt good enough, or ready enough, old enough, or even young enough.  Rich enough or happy enough to settle for what and where I am.  The past year has made me realize that, at least for myself, I am enough.

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“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”
― Roy T. Bennett

As much as I have tried to fit in and be everything for everyone.  I have also spent my life stepping out of my comfort zone.  So often am I living in uncomfortable positions that I sometimes think I will never be able to be comfortable just in one place. Just being me. That’s almost more scary then change.

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“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

This is my aim.  My newest epiphany.  My newest desire for change in my life and in every situation I find myself in.  Acceptance of self.  And with acceptance of self, acceptance of others.  Though I feel that I have always accepted others, I am now realizing that the way I feel I have been has not been the way I have been perceived by others.  My change will be demonstrating to myself and to others that I am willing to accept them as they are just as I am willing to accept myself as I am.  It’s a weird notion for me but I do know that this is the powerful change that I need to move towards.  Just looking for smiles my friend.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay

Powerful change/powerful acceptance:   Better; Nim; GS; Val; Happypanda; pvcann; fit; NVI; Erika; Cherie; AP2; Jenna; Angela; JJ

Kopfkino


Kopfkino (noun) Origin: German | The act of playing out an entire scenario in your mind.

Hard translation is “head cinema” and as the definition goes, these are for those times where you start daydreaming or imagining scenarios about how a situation will unravel.

I live in my head.  Specifically when I am stressed out. My specific types of scenarios are often referred to as “heroic imagination” scenarios.  Yes.  I am the hero of my own dreams and my own imaginations. Of course to be a hero, you have to face adversity, trials, and tribulations.  I will admit that my scenarios run the outrageous to the often outlandishly ridiculous extreme. In my imagination, I never stood quietly by why bullies beat down the underdog.

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. ~ Edmund Burke

I used to think it was weird.  Even when I was in the middle of one of these mental scenarios.  This existing in the reality of feeling inadequate, beaten down, or inadequate while at the same time co-existing in my wonderful mental reality of always overcoming the odds and taking out societies bullies and deviants through my Emmett Brown – mad-scientist high-intellect, James Bond -smarmy attitude, and MacGyver-like ingenuity.

What I believe played a part in my transition from every day nerd kid to heroic fixer of all things evil (or moderately annoying)?  As I researched this phenomena, I came to realize that this affliction might very well come from the wealth of random and situational realities that I grew up in.

When I was very young, most of my childhood heroes wore capes, flew through the air, or picked up buildings with one arm. They were spectacular and got a lot of attention. But as I grew, my heroes changed, so that now I can honestly say that anyone who does anything to help a child is a hero to me. – Fred Rogers

Helicopter Parents – When I grew up, the definition of a helicopter parent would have been: A parent who randomly flies by and zooms off.  From about the age of 2-7, my sisters and i had free run of the yard and back alley and possibly the block our house existed on. Parents would look out the windows or neighbors would babysit us from their own windows.  We knew how to behave (mostly) because we knew we would be ratted out by the ratfink neighbors. From 7-11, we managed to work our territory to the local playground, swimming pool, chasing ice cream trucks for miles, and sometimes even to our downtown area. As long as we were back home before dark … or before our parents got home, we were pretty much never in trouble.  From 11-18 we pretty much did what we wanted and then begged for forgiveness after the fact.  This is not to say that we never got in trouble or found ourselves in ridiculous predicaments.  I imagine this is definitely one of the reasons my heroic imagination developed.  Childhood is sometimes kind of scary and to overcome this, I developed scenarios where I could rescue myself and my sisters.

80s movies – The Garbage Pail Kids, Killer Clowns from Outer Space, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Adventures in Babysitting, Better Off Dead, Breakfast Club, Red Dawn, Footloose, Weird Science, all of the Stephen King movies.  Really, almost every 80s movie ever made. Outlandish scenarios with outlandish heroes.

You can kind of see the hero in me.  Right?  Always in disguise. Kind of amazing.

Reading Books – I was a bit of a loner and super shy as a child.  I always played the part of the underdog.  I had a great imagination.  I read book after book about children and teens on magical adventures, or misadventures.  Kids who overcame difficulties like being kidnapped, shipwrecked, abandoned, etc.  They always managed to come out on top.  They were kids with moral courage and the willingness, adaptability and wherewithal to overcome the odds and stand up to evil in every form.

Military Training – I joined the Navy at 16 and went to boot camp during the summer between my junior and senior year.  Part of this was due to my belief that I was really the only one I could count on to fix, save, repair myself or my sisters from some of the outrageous situations we often found ourselves in.  I mean, you have to learn to fight and control situations and what better way to do that. Bootcamp sucked.  But I did learn some life skills that have stayed with me to this day.  I’m not afraid of many things.

“I think a hero is really any person intent on making this a better place for all people.” – Maya Angelou

As I grew up, married, had kids, divorce, changed jobs, traveled, and everything else that happens in life, I still occasionally (often) revert back to  this heroic and positively deviant imagination.  For years I tried to break this habit because even I thought it was bizarre.  This existing in the actual world while equally and positively existing in this alternate and wonderful world where I overcame the odds every single time.

After years of doing this, I feel like it often helps me figure out daily situations.  As long as I am not zoning out and being inappropriate.  I mean I have never actually tried to wear a spandex outfit and climb the side of a building.  But this imagination has made me a little more situationally aware.  I have been told it is better to be a hero in my imagination than the one who is beaten down. I think I am more resilient these days and less afraid than I was as a child.  I hardly ever play the bystander which is super helpful in a crisis situation.  Sometimes, my imagination only brings me to a place of self-acceptance.  For me, being the hero of my own story has led me to more amazing places and good outcomes than had I chosen to remain in my less appealing realities.  They have taught me to dream big and actually take action on my dreams.  There ain’t nothing wrong with being a hero.  Even if, most of the time, it’s only in your head.

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” – Christopher Reeve

“The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.” – Felix Adler

Imagination: serendipity; Pete; yi-ching; ambivert; sandra; ben; aarzu; rahul; rajan; ally; norah

POTP – yes that’s me


Only quotes for today.  Sometimes i have to come to terms that I am indeed POTP.   Even when my gut is telling me that I am not.  We all are.  Even if your gut is telling you that you are not.

There are more than a million ways to skin a cat.  But why are you skinning cats? This is a real question. – Sami

“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”
― Abraham Maslow

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“The problem contains the solution.” Michael Bierut

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”  ― Albert Einstein

“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”  ― Abraham Maslow

There are not more than five musical notes, yet the combinations of these five give rise to more melodies than can ever be heard.
There are not more than five primary colours, yet in combination
they produce more hues than can ever been seen.
There are not more than five cardinal tastes, yet combinations of
them yield more flavours than can ever be tasted.”
― Sun Tzu

“If you choose to not deal with an issue,
then you give up your right of control over the issue
and it will select the path of least resistance.”
― Susan Del Gatto

“A sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on.”
― C.S. Lewis

solutions:  JoAnn: NHGS; Zoe; Borden; jano; drabble; knifton; troy; sean; teresa; Bigbuddy;