It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. – Henry David Thoreau


I like to turn things upside down, to watch pictures and situations from another perspective. – Ursus Wehrli

Thrown up on the fridge, in a very random order, you can barely tell what is what or where is where…

It’s not even that big …

colors … shapes … random letters …

no politics … no rhetoric … no anger or hate …

Despite the randomness … you know what it is .. what it will become … and you almost do not want to finish it …

Even though you know that in it’s finished form it can be, and is, very beautiful … you sort of want it to remain unfinished.  Or even better.. you want to start over .. with the knowledge you have right now..

Fix what is broken .. toss in a dash more color and light and innocence.  See, we have perspective now. It would be different.. right?  Knowing what we know now.. it would be different..  right?

The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don’t have control over your situation, but you have control over how you view it.  – Chris Pine

Spring has sprung … and so have I!!!

“Blossom by blossom the spring begins.”
— Algernon Charles Swinburne


Speaking of spring …. makes me think of change …. speaking of change … makes me think of adventure … speaking of adventure … makes me think of the old dreams I used to have … speaking of old dreams … makes me remember how I envisioned who I would be when I grew up.. speaking of growing up … makes me remember that I possibly never have and possibly never will… and THAT.. IS … OK!!!

Back to the topic of change and spring.  New beginnings and reflections on the changes I have experienced in my life.  Countries, peoples, places, foods, and drinks.  Adventures.. I love change.  Change is the only thing that stays the same in my life.  It’s that time of day, week, month, and year.  I am off again on a new adventure.    I am super excited by this new opportunity …  I present to you Equatorial Guinea..


“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Some people will never understand what I like about my life.  Sometimes I do not understand.  I am sometimes homesick.. missing family, friends, and consistency.  On the other hand, I live for these adventures.  I always hope that folks will come to visit me and share in my adventure but also understand when they chose not to and even why they do not.

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown”
― H.P. Lovecraft, Supernatural Horror in Literature

Some feel I am crazy for living this life.. and maybe I am .. but I still love it.  I live for it and look forward to sharing it with whoever in whatever manner they want to appreciate it.  Raise a cup to the crazy ones!!

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Rob Siltanen


I started this post in 2016… life had been very “unstill” at that time.  It is more still these days.. and yet with the government shutdown.. less still internally with the insecurity of what is going to happen to myself and others who have no idea when the government will open back up.  Waking up in a panic wondering if I still have a job..though once the cobwebs of sleep clear.. knowing that I do.. but wondering how we got to this point and when it will end.

So with time on my hands.. restless and yet so still… I thought this would be a good reminder to get back on the move with becoming more still… and patient… deep breath..let’s go.


Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen – that stillness becomes a radiance.   ~~~~~Morgan Freeman

Thanks for visiting.

Further posts on stillness or serenity

Aishwarya, Dailypost, Wanderlust, Deetravel, Another Voice, pixiedust, emptythoughts, lifeaccordingto, memoirsof, doris, jardin, joan, momma

Who go better do better

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This random hand painted sign on the bumper of a Nigerian truck made me smile.


Based on the craziness going on in the world, the 24 hour cycle of bad news that the media pushes out, and just the meanness of the people who have always really been mean, I think that sometimes we forget that expression.

In my world, I have been very fortunate to have had the opportunities that I have had and have had the ability to surround myself with amazing people who choose to go better and do better daily.  I have always tried to model myself after them.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a decent person, but not as decent as the people I have chosen to cling on to as my role models.

The last few years have presented some gigantic personal challenges and emotional set backs.  So many that I sort of lost the inner me that has always been able to pick myself up, dust myself off, and truck the hell on.  The last few months in particular gutted me with sadness, frustration, and anger.

The logical side of my brain is always aware that I have been and continue to be blessed.  But the logical side had recessed so far that the emotional heart and brain took over and started incessantly repeating some of the darkest and most insecure thoughts and emotions that had plagued me as a child and teenager and well into part of my adulthood.

The fact that I knew these thoughts and frustrations were all in my head, did not help me overcome the spiral downward I was feeling and the eventual wall I knew I would hit.  That I had hit before.  I knew where that would eventually lead and that made me even more sad.

Logically, none of the bad feelings were real.  Emotionally they were all too real and really all too terrifying.  Like a clamp on my heart.  Because of what was going on in my head and the lack of control I was feeling with my mind and emotions, I started shutting down.  I started feeling that old, old, old angst that I had promised myself years ago I would never allow to enter my heart again.  I started feeling bad about myself and questioning everything and everyone around me.  I started illogically hating myself and who I was and where I knew I was going.

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About 6 weeks ago I woke up and my logical mind for the first time in awhile felt back in control.  It was clear to me that while I felt rational once again I needed to take immediate action to maintain that visible light at the end of a very dark tunnel.  I knew I had to begin the arduous task of reprogramming my mind to focus on all of the amazing things that have happened in my life and all of of the amazing things that were still going on in the world.

I began to limit the amount of far right and far left wind media I would allow myself to watch.  I found some positive social media sites that dedicated themselves to only presenting good news and happy stories.  Facebook pages like “Good news and Happy Stories Only” and Mike Rowe’s “Returning the Favor“.  I youtube’d funny baby, animal and comedian videos as well as any video that profiled the struggles that other people had overcome and how they overcame odds much greater than I had ever faced.  I spent the first few weeks just sitting on my couch bawling my eyes out during each of these very emotional and wonderful stories.

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Another step I took towards recovering myself was to begin working through my social media and deleting the people and the articles that related to the many things that were bringing me down, had been part of the spiral downward of my confidence and happiness.  I had a tech friend go through my Facebook and delete anything that was causing some weird friend requests and terrible and false news stories to land on my newsfeed.  This did cause some people in my life to disappear that I had not intended.  However, I don’t miss the amount of time I wasted on social media looking at how everyone else’s life appeared so amazing while mine was.. bleh.. and slightly depressing.

I have been focusing on cool facts and documentaries related to historical figures.  Paying attention to why those people were so amazing.  Finding inspirational quotes and just attempting to be a better person who might one day inspire others.




Everyone has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints.  Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories.  It is impossible to lick your elbow (busted).  If you lift a kangaroo’s tail off the ground it can’t hop.  Casu marzu is a Sardinian cheese that contains live maggots. The maggots can jump up to five inches out of cheese while you’re eating it, so it’s a good idea to shield it with your hand to stop them jumping into your eyes.  The average person spends 6 months of their lifetime waiting on a red light to turn green. A single cloud can weight more than 1 million pounds.  During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools.  Coca Cola would be green if coloring wasn’t added to it.  You cannot snore and dream at the same time.  In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.  Most lipstick contains fish scales.  The first American film to show a toilet being flushed on screen was Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho.  An epidemic of laughing that lasted almost a year broke out in Tanganyika (now Tanzania) in 1962. Several thousand people were affected, across several villages. It forced a school to close. It wasn’t fun, though — other symptoms included crying, fainting, rashes, and pain.  Honey never spoils.  Earth is the only planet not named after a god.  A “jiffy” is the scientific name for 1/100th of a second.

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I started getting back into my art.

I began to put more effort into my Spanish studies by reading some well-known fairytales.  Nice break from stressful adult Spanish learning.  Also, reading these stories guaranteed successful comprehension.

I started walking places more and eating healthier again.  I cut back on coffee and started drinking herbal teas and even did a few cleanses.  Using the model of positive energy balance.  While I had been living in Korea, I had taken some Reiki classes that dealt with energy healing.  I made myself go back to treating myself and focusing on my chakra practice that I had stopped doing.

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I contacted  The Distant Healing Network  and put in a request for positive energy and love to be sent my way.

Finally, the hardest thing for me to do was to reach out to a counselor to express my concerns about myself.  I requested any type of help that could be provided short of going on medication.  I allowed myself to accept that I was going through a depressive period that very well could be related to hormonal changes due to my age.  (Menopause is real and so is depression).

I slowly began to feel consistently better and better able to focus on the good things in my life and the people that build me up rather than make me feel bad about myself. To realize that I deserve more than how some people have treated me in my life and how even I do not always treat myself right.

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I started writing in my “Starting Today” Journal which is a journal of intention and change.  Every day I write one sentence or a page on things I will start doing today.  One of the things that I have started doing is seeking out stories, movies, and people that will motivate me to be a person who go better to do better.  Every day I do this, I really believe I will be better.  Thanks for reading.

Things to read to go better to do better. – Humans of New York, Amy Poehler Smart Girls, Deepak Chopra, Sweet Green, etc.

Prsuit (@Prsuti)

Prsuit is an Instagram account that posts inspirational quotes as well as links to their articles each day. This Instagram account is dedicated to giving knowledge and inspiration to their followers—not to trying to sell them on a product. If you want an account that is all about giving you the tools you need for success, follow this account.

Achieve the Impossible (@achievetheimpossible)

Achieve the Impossible Instagram account focuses purely on motivational quotes to keep you striving for the goal of your business or life. This Instagram feed is filled with feel-good phrases that will fill you with positive energy.

Zig Ziglar (@thezigziglar)

Zig Ziglar’s Instagram account is made to fuel your motivation with quotes that will be sure to brighten up and boost your day. This account is all about feeling positive with exactly what you are doing in life, right now.

Circles Of Inspiration by Anna Pereira Founder of; Lean in circles; 10 People you’ve never heard of who changed the world


We can do better

We can do better
Oh yeah, we can do better

[Verse 1]
I know it hurt bad, your mom left your dad
When you were a little girl
You think I’m gonna leave ’cause history repeats
We’ve seen it around the world
Oh, all that we’re told is this will get old
We’ll cheat and we’ll both get hurt
Against all the odds we’ll pray to the gods
That this love works

When all we see is bad blood and mistakes
All we hear are sad songs ’bout heartbreaks
And no matter how long it takes
We’re not gonna give up

We can do better (ha)
Oh, we can do better
And nothing lasts forever (ha)
We can do better

[Verse 2]
Things can get rough, we might drink too much
And say things we shouldn’t say
Forgive and forget ‘fore we go to bed
And we’re gonna be okay
Some people pretend it’s not gonna end
And end up then walk away
But that isn’t me, I’m not gonna leave
I’m here to stay

When all we see is bad blood and mistakes
All we hear are sad songs ’bout heartbreaks
And no matter how long it takes
We’re not gonna give up

We can do better (ha)
Oh, we can do better
And nothing lasts forever (ha)
We can do better

I’m not worried ’cause the thing is
We can do better
I know you and I are different
We can do better
I don’t wanna overthink it
We can do better
I know you and I are different
We can do better

When all we see is bad blood and mistakes
All we hear are sad songs ’bout heartbreaks
And no matter how long it takes
We’re not gonna give up

We can do better (ha)
We can do better
And nothing lasts forever (ha)
We can do better

We can do better