Day 11 – Little things

“It’s the little things, I expect. Little treasures we find without knowing their origin. And they come when we least expect them. It’s beautiful, when you think about it.”
― T.J. Klune

I love to collect memories of people I love.  Either through dolls, tattoos, or rocks.  I just love the little things.  My best friend in high school loved Coca-Cola and years ago I found a belt buckle that I will sometimes wear to remind me of her.

Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air.     ~Georges Bernanos

After my dad passed in October, I was helping clean out a big old shop full of mold, rat nests, and random other things that had not been cared for sufficiently to garner keeping.  However, we found some amazing photos and a few other random thigs that I felt that if I gave them a little loving care, I could restore them to near original condition and keep as a weird keepsake of my dad and possibly even of my mother.

Super random and super lovely.  I’m glad I found them and even though I do not believe I ever saw my dad or mom with any of the above items.  For some reason they are now connected to thoughts of my mom and dad.  Though there were many other things that I suppose I could have kept, there was something just a little magical about the above items.  The random 2 army guys and the moon belt buckle really have me perplexed.  But that’s sort of why I really like them.

Little things console us because little things afflict us.   ~Blaise Pasca

It’s funny.  I set a 30 day challenge for myself.  It was for no other reason but to jumpstart my creativity and motivate me to get out of my own head again.

For some time now I have had to force myself to even write one blog a month.  Paint one picture every few months.   I would struggle just having energy to get up and stretch.  I did it but I was putting no effort into it.  Setbacks like my recent fall or finding I had no milk but a box of cereal would anger me or spiral me into a dark place.  It was self feeding.

I’m surprised (not surprised) that the more I do the better I feel. I know this is how I am and my natural state.  I hardly ever have this many down and dark days in a row.   As I move out of it I can’t help but wonder.. what the hell?  How did I get there?

The answer in is the same answer out. Poco a poco! Slowly. Little by little. Step by step. Thanks to the many who stayed with me.. for walking me out. Thanks to self for hanging in there. Check in with your friends and loved ones. Poco a poco we will all get through.  It’s the little things that will bring us full circle.

That’s all folks!! Take care.

The little things: Prashantt; chattykerry; brad; Omo; phoebe; simran; cathy;

Day 8 – Food Porning Memories

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
~Virginia Woolf

Happy Thanksgiving 2020 reminds me of other times I have found pleasure with friends and family through the enjoyment of a wild array of food and drink.   Memories are enhanced with food shots from a variety of places and in various forms of preparedness.  Though there were hundreds of other memories associated with food, these were really some of my favorites. I hope you enjoy.

Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious.
~Ruth Reichl

Other posts that made me hungry- foodforthought; kitchenandfood; gummypumpkin; cakes; plating; bread; Hobbs; Dillan; Lesou; Elliot

Day 6 – I’m not superstitious.. but I am a little stitious – Michael Scott

I am not superstitious … stepping on cracks, black cats, ladders, and salt.  So weird.  Where do these ideas come from? What, where, and why in the world?  Not me!  I suppose I’m quirky.  Eclectic.  Ironic. Funny.. at least to me I am funny.  Or maybe just weird.

There’s a whole category of people who miss out by not allowing themselves to be weird enough.  ~ Alain De Botton

I have not suffered from this affliction.  I have made many weirder friends.  Friends that even I sometimes think.. woah.. so weird.  However, the weirdness is what I love.  The weirdness is what draws me to them.  The acceptance of self.  The acceptance of others. 

I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.   ~ Johnny Depp

Every weird thing about you is beautiful and makes life interesting.  ~ Kesha

I am not superstitious though.  Just weird.  I do have some habits though that would appear to make me seem slightly superstitious. 

I always think of the worst thing that could happen in any situation.  Every time.  I have done this since I have been a child.  When I was young I apparently worried about EVERYTHING.  My mother told me one day that this was a good habit to have. She told me that it was a good thing because whatever you worried about most would never happen. At that point, instead of just worrying about things, I would write down the absolute worst thing that could ever happen for every situation I was in.  It calmed me down.  I have continued this behavior to this day. It has come in super handy in the case of actual emergencies.  I’m amazing in an emergency situation.  I really think that this is a true way of avoiding really bad things.  You can not say I’m wrong. I have never been in a zombie apocalypse.  I have never had a plane fall from the sky and land on my face.  I have never been eaten alive by a pack of cannibals (or any other wild animal).  I have never found myself starving or dying of thirst in a desert, a mountainous area, the middle of the ocean.  I have never had a parasite bed itself permanently in my body driving me to attempt to cut it out because it was making me crazy.  I could go on and on and on but I think you get the point.

I like being weird. Weird’s all I’ve got. That, and my sweet style.  ~  Leo Valdez

I always try to do the right thing all of the time because I am fairly sure I am being watched all of the time.  Again, my mom.  “Would you be doing that if someone were watching you?  Well, it’s possible that there is always someone watching you. So no matter where you are, all of the time, behave as if someone were watching you.”  People.. children are impressionable and you should really take care of what you say to them.  These things stick. 

I’m accused of being super judgmental.  I am always shocked when i hear this.  I’m not.  I mean generally I am not.  I mean, I am annoyed with folks who do not do their part in life, who do not accept others, who blame others for their own issues, who love to argue with everyone about everything, who constantly ask for advice and then never follow it, who wail around in self-pity while not making any movement to change their behavior, who make loud sounds when they chew food.. ok.. ok.. I might be a little judgmental.  But one of my better qualities is that i get over my irritations quickly.. usually.  I’ve been working on finding ways to not appear so judgmental.  I say appear, because I really do not feel that I am judgmental.

We judge ourselves by our intentions. And others by their actions.  ~ Stephen Covey

I always try to sing a song in my head as a response to every question asked before actually responding with words.  This habit did not completely come from my mom.  I would bite my tongue with her but when I was 17 and in boot camp I learned some hard lessons about responding immediately with what I was actually thinking when the company commander screamed in my face about some ridiculous thing I was doing. Initially, this helped me provide a better response to individuals that made them feel better about themselves or how they felt about what I was doing.  It served me well for many, many years.  Unfortunately, I am actually so good at it now that I can make up a song and still respond vocally almost immediately with responses that do not please the folks around me.

I can actually make myself invisible when I do not want to be approached or bothered. When I was a child, I had very low self-esteem.  I was made fun of a lot and really hated who I was.  I spent years trying to make people laugh because that is the only time I felt good about myself or felt that others liked me.  At one point I had hit rock bottom in regards to accepting myself and feeling that I deserved to exist.  From the bottom of the barrel I started trying to find ways to pull myself back onto my feet.  I removed myself from the picture and pretended that I was not there.  No one seemed to have noticed my disappearance.  I was literally invisible.  I would become visible only when necessary.  This allowed me to remove my emotions from situations and I began to understand that I really was not any different than anyone else out there.  As a matter of fact, I began to see and feel my worth in the world.  

I know what you are thinking.  “You really were not invisible.  You were just quiet.  You did not interact but that doesn’t mean you were not seen.”  I beg to differ.  Stick with me on this example.  I was at the mall with my daughter and her friend from school.  They were shopping and I decided to get something to eat.  I sat at a bar in the mall and no one approached me.  No one asked if I wanted a glass of water even.  I finally got up and walked away.  I met my daughter and her friend in a different restaurant.  They were not there yet. Everyone around me got sat down and served.  No one approached me until the kids appeared.  We sat down and I kept trying to get the attention of a waiter.  No one came.  We got up and left the mall and stopped at a Mexican restaurant.  The waitress came to the table and took the order of the kids but completely did not SEE me.  I was so confused.  I forgot that I had made myself invisible that morning.  So, I put my glasses on and the waitress immediately appeared and took my order.  Of course the kids thought that was hysterical and didn’t believe me when I told them why I had not been seen.  So to make my point, I took the glasses back off.  The waitress came to the table and took the order of the kids but did not even ask me if I wanted anything.  They were rolling at this point.  I put the glasses back on and bing, bang, bong.. the waitress came back and boooom.. I was able to put in an order.  You can choose not to believe me but to this day, I can still make myself invisible.

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.Dick Francis

I am guessing there are many more examples of my stitiousness.  I guarantee that none of my habits are quite super though.

Stevie Wonder ~

Very superstitious
Writing’s on the wall
Very superstitious
Ladder’s about to fall
Thirteen month old baby
Broke the looking glass
Seven years of bad luck
The good things in your past

When you believe in things
That you don’t understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain’t the way

Other posts I enjoyed: Giants; Disappear; Fade; A2Z; Forest; splinter; bean; fartShould; petloss; life; summergarden 

Day 5 – If you want to be, beeeee

“It’s never overreacting to ask for what you want and need.”
― Amy Poehler

If you want to be a writer, write. If you want to be a singer, sing. If you want to be happy, laugh.  If you want to be a detective, investigate.  If you want to be a world traveler, move.

“We all spend so much time not saying what we want, because we know we can’t have it. And because it sounds ungracious, or ungrateful, or disloyal, or childish, or banal. Or because we’re so desperate to pretend that things are OK, really, that confessing to ourselves they’re not looks like a bad move. Go on, say what you want. … Whatever it is, say it to yourself. The truth will set you free. Either that or it’ll get you a punch in the nose. Surviving in whatever life you’re living means lying, and lying corrodes the soul, so take a break from the lies for just one minute.”
― Nick Hornby

Realistically, everyone wants to be something.  Sometimes it is hard to know what you want but you will never know what you want if you are not moving towards something.  Anything.  I am always surprised at how many people are able to express what they want but unable or unwilling to do the work to get there.  My theory and action plan for getting to the things I want is to move.  I don’t always get what I thought I wanted, but I always get what I ended up needing.   

“Well, if you can’t have what you want, you could try to want what you have.”
― Gillian Shields

What i have finally discovered… What I really want… Is what everyone eventually really wants.  Laughter, love, and life.  What else is there?

“If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never find it.
If you don’t know what you deserve, you’ll always settle for less.
You will wander aimlessly, uncomfortably numb in your comfort zone, wondering how life has ended up here.
Life starts now, live, love, laugh and let your light shine!”
― Rob Liano

Other posts I really like:  daly; musings; fluffy; laughter; mueller; finger; 59; sungmo; sbd; nansfarm; bumpkin; teeth; ellie; gunrose; balloons; whilst; weathered; toy; wires; dreams; piggy; pizzazz; herbs; sunflower; wind

Day 4 – Have a happy childhood – now

I have been successfully adulting for about 40+ years.  I mean, I’m only 53, so that’s way too much adulting for way too long. 

“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.”
― Ethan Hawke

I have been adulting since I have been a child.  I actually hate the world adulting… So, I have decided over the past few years to start childing again.  Cut myself some slack, let loose, and just give myself the gift of a happy childhood – now.

“O, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales.”
― Leo Rosten

“For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.”
― John Connolly

“I am convinced that most people do not grow up…We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.”
― Maya Angelou

Other posts I liked;

Baily; Uma; narmad; Debbie; Hairpins; Minx; tash; spark; linda; wuther; marie; wisewoman; five; trending