Happy birthdeathsary Dad..

October has been a month dedicated strictly to my dad.  It is the month of his birth as well the month of his death.  Every day on Facebook I have posted a picture of and a story relating to my dad that I think coincides to the story.  As stated in my last post, he was an amazing man and the most amazing man I have encountered in my life.

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right.   ~~~Wade Boggs

October 1 – Dad, Mom, and the grandmas – 

It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ~~~Anne Sexton

October 2  &  3  – Dad and me about 2010 -and the  darn  family!! 

My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~~~Clarence Budington Kelland

Oct 4 – Dad and some sisters at L&E.. I know it’s the Sportsman cafe but will always belong to L & E to my heart.

My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad. ~~~Beau Bridges

October 5 – Dad’s younger days.  Reminding  me  and  teaching  me…  my  worth  ..  my  value..  day  by  day  

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. ~~~Marlo Thomas

October 6 – One of my very favorite photos. Mom and dad looking so young, Patricia and Veronica not looking any different these days, and me looking slightly crazed. This photo immortalized into a deck of cards after dad’s passing by Dori (Thank you so much)! Nothing but hearts and smiles in my heart right now and every time I look at this.

My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. ~~~Lee Iacocca

October 7 – An oldie but a goodie. Mom and dad. Both gave me humor.  Both gave me inspiration and ability. Both game me drive and determination.  But only one.. only one.. gave me 100% unconditional love.  Every time.. all the time…

A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remain as a pillar of strength throughout our lives. ~~~Ama H. Vanniarachchy

October 8 – This one is for missing yesterday.. so weird to think that I am older now than my mom or dad was in this picture.. an obvious thing but so weird how you can outlive a memory that feels like it was only yesterday.

Dad is and always will be my living, breathing superhero. ~~~ Bindi Irwin

October 9 –

Dad and his truck… probably some of my favorite one-on-one times! Just me and him driving down 90 or 94.. he’d let me call out to other truckers.. breaker breaker this is 2 can sam (cb name that started as a tease from my sisters becoming coolest name ever).. chats about everything from books to jokes.. oh the stories he could tell.. (I once met a man on the road with such greasy hair.. flies would just slide right off) one day after I had been talking nonstop.. dad pointed out the window and said..”you see that mountain Sami? It’s probably about 50 miles away now. What do you see?” I spent the next 50 miles looking quietly.. then making a guess.. I never saw what he was looking at..before he passed.. talking through memories of road trips, I remembered that.. I asked him about it.. he remembered it too.. I asked him what he had been looking at.. his eyes teared up.. so did mine.. but instead of crying he started laughing.. I was like… what?!? He could barely speak he was laughing so hard .. and between gasps.. he finally got it out…

NOTHING he saw nothing.. he was just trying to get me to shut up!!! Hahahaha!! 40+ years thinking about what was on the mountain.. that man.. he knew how to keep a long joke going.. we laughed so hard.. yeah! Dad, love ya… still laughing..

October 10 –

My good people as you pass by

as you are now so once was I.

As I am now you soon will be ,

prepare yourself to follow me.

It was my father who taught me to value myself. ~~~ Dawn French

October 11 –

Dad … CHOSE … me.

When I was about 26 years old, I found out that dad was not my biological dad. I was the only one who didn’t know, and the only one who didn’t freak out. I was amazed by it. Not broken by it. Apparently he made it clear to everyone he didn’t want me to know he wasn’t my biological dad because he didn’t want me to ever feel like I didn’t fit in. I believe it was truly the only secret my family was ever able to keep. I spent my life knowing that I was loved by my dad. But up until that very moment, I had never really known that me, being loved by dad, was not just a biological inevitability, but a deliberate and hard thought out choice that he made. The fact I never knew and would never have known … well, that says way more than words ever could.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. ~~~Spike Milligan

October 12-

This is just one more example of why dad was special. Never one to skip a laugh. Never one to not join in with our own jokes. Miss your humor dad.

My father was not a failure. After all, he was the father of a president of the United States. ~~~Harry S Truman

October 13 –

I guess you could say these two have always been my favorite men. The only two who made me feel comfortable enough to be silent. I’m not saying silence happened often. I’m just saying that their calmness created calm inside of me.

No matter what was going on, they were unflappable. .. dad and grandpa…grandpa and dad. They both had an amazing sense of humor. Grandpa was a little quieter than dad and that’s saying a lot because dad was pretty darn quiet at times. While dad always had a book with him grandpa always had some kind of activity going on. You can’t blame dad because he was surrounded by very talkative women.

So many stories about each of them. I remember having my first car and letting one of my friends drive I decided to go visit my grandpa. I told my friend to take a right a little bit too late and she ran into his fence knocking down the entire gateway. When we pulled to a stop we tried switching places so he would think I did it and by the time we switched seats and looked up, he was standing directly in front of us. Had seen the whole thing. Didn’t say a word. He put his rake against the wall, grabbed his hammer and some nails and went to repair the fence. Grandpa and dad never once brought this incident up in any negative way.

My friend and I still talk about this. Grandpa and dad actually laughed about this until the very end. Completely unflappable. Miss you both!

My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’ ~~~Dave Chappelle

October 14 – 

Getting close to dads birthday now and thought I would go way,way, way back with him. High school senior picture I think. Has always been a reminder to me that when I see some old geezer walking down the street all cranky and full of piss and vinegar.. they were young once too. Bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to conquer the world.

Fast forward about 36 years. Mom and dad helping me put a new roof on my house. End of day. Dad and I go to that old bar in Hillyard that is at the top of green street down from Amicarrellas (sp?) sitting in there having a beer and and he says to me, “See that kid walking in? How old do you think he is?” I replied at least 21, we are in a bar dad. He was like.. no, no I know.. but how old do you think he is?

Now not many know this about dad but he was a thinker. Always had been. So when he asked a second time, well I knew he was about to make a point. So I guessed 23-24. He said, “Exactly! And every day I get up.. that’s how old I feel like I am. And as I get out of bed with bones creaking and pass a mirror.. I always ask my reflection.. who the FK is this ol’ bstrd looking back at me. Life goes by so quickly Sami-don’t forget that.”

I never have! Love you dad.

Everything my mother and father did was designed to put me where I am. ~~~Henry Louis Gates

October 15

Man you gotta love the 80s. This is basically proof that I wasn’t just a daddy’s girl.. heck I was a daddy’s teen.. followed by a daddy’s woman .. eventually I was a daddy’s Grammy Sami…

Being a daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life.” ~~~Marinela Reka

October 16

Sometimes you forget that your parents also have parents… have lost parents.. as much as I was a daddy’s girl.. dad was a momma’s boy. Not in today’s interpretation of the word.. but he was just a kid who, through his life, LOVED his momma. My grandma. He also frequently tried to emulate his daddy. But his mom.. that’s where his heart was.

A father needs to be the standard against which she will judge all men. ~~~Gregory E.

October 17

When I think of this group, I think of happy gatherings. Holidays. Anniversaries. Birthdays. Only 2 remain. That doesn’t make me sad. Sometimes wistful. But not sad. There is only one way out of this messy, chaotic life. I try my best to celebrate that fact. Each and every day. I am not always successful at that. Sometimes I am a complete and utter failure at it. When that happens, and it has and it will happen again, I try not to beat myself up too hard. Before my mom passed..and during dad’s fight with cancer, I asked them both the same question and they both answered in relatively the exact same way. I try to always remind myself of their answer and pull myself up and once again carry on.

Me: Do you have any regrets?

Mom: Yeah. But what can you do about the past? All I can do is try to keep being me. A better me.

Dad: Of course. You can’t get through life successfully without em.. just gotta keep trucking.. hope for the best

So I just keep truckin..forgiving myself..trying to be a better me.. accepting of others more.. because none of us make it out of here alive and we are all just doing the best we can.

Fathers and daughters have a special bond. She is always daddy’s little girl. ~~~Richard L. Ratliff

October 18

This is by far my favorite picture of dad.  My daughters and dad just cutting a rug. When my sisters and I grew up, I think mom and dad had had enough of the kids, any kids, in their house.  So to be honest, we never spent much time with them.  They weren’t the huggy, lovey, kissy grandparents.  They didn’t beg for more time with the kids.  It always made me a little bit sad.  But I knew that they loved each other. I just don’t think they had enough time together.  Love is such an easy thing to forget.  Or just miss.

This picture is always a reminder to me that, if given the chance, and you let your guard down, there is always a chance for smiles and laughter.  I wish my daughters could have spent more good times with dad.  Times like this.  They loved him and he loved them. I am not sure that any of them REALLY knew it.    It’s just another reminder of how short time is. Let people know that you REALLY love them.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. — Gene Perret

A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life. ~~~ Dr. James Dobson

October 19

When I think of this group, I think of happy gatherings. Holidays. Anniversaries. Birthdays. Only 2 remain. That doesn’t make me sad. Sometimes wistful. But not sad. There is only one way out of this messy, chaotic life. I try my best to celebrate that fact. Each and every day. I am not always successful at that. Sometimes I am a complete and utter failure at it. When that happens, and it has and it will happen again, I try not to beat myself up too hard. Before my mom passed..and during dad’s fight with cancer, I asked them both the same question and they both answered in relatively the exact same way. I try to always remind myself of their answer and pull myself up and once again carry on.

Me: Do you have any regrets?

Mom: Yeah. But what can you do about the past? All I can do is try to keep being me. A better me.

Dad: Of course. You can’t get through life successfully without em.. just gotta keep trucking.. hope for the best

So I just keep truckin..forgiving myself..trying to be a better me.. accepting of others more.. because none of us make it out of here alive and we are all just doing the best we can.

October 20

This is likely one of my most common memories of dad. It’s just dad coming home. Happened all the time. It was a super common event. So why take a picture? Well, dad was a trucker. He was gone a lot. This could have been a normal day or a special event. But it doesn’t matter. Pretty much every time he came home it was special. I’d love to see him walk in a door again. Any door.

A father’s job is not to teach his daughter how to be a lady. It’s to teach her how a lady should be treated. ~~~ Unknown

October 21

Dad’s birthday is tomorrow. As I was scrolling through my photos I came across the mile 13 photo. This set photo is huge. It started as a trip dad wanted to take to visit mom’s resting place in Montana. Was supposed to be dad, me, and my sisters but turned into.. a 15 passenger van with pretty much the whole family… down to the grandkids! At first I think dad was annoyed.. but it’s one of the things he talked about during one of our last conversations. One of the most chaotic but best memories he had. He had planned this to be his last resting place. You had to drive through some beautiful country to get there… find mile marker 13, climb through someone’s fence, climb s bill…dad, my sis, and Mike drove there to scout it out.. apparently after som 60 years.. it was gone. It was a new development.. as dad put it to me.. ”Well, I was very disappointed. Yet surprised it had been left for so long. I can still feel the drop in my stomach. But what do ya do?” That led to us looking over the pictures of the trip.. when he got in the van to go visit mom.. his only thought had been…”WTF have I just got myself into!” I asked him how many times in his life had that thought popped into his head raising us. He looked at me and without a blink said, “Every FKN day!” Then laughed.. and said, “But like that trip, at the end of it, I have had more happy times than frustrated times and I don’t regret a thing.”

October 22 – Happy Birthday Dad.

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I love my daddy. My daddy’s everything. I hope I can find a man that will treat me as good as my dad.” ~~~Lady Gaga

My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways. ~~~ Sarah Orne Jewett

Daddy, thanks for being my hero, chauffeur, financial support, listener, life mentor, friend, guardian and simply being there every time I need a hug.  ~~~Agatha Stephanie Lin

Pictures- words- poems – :   Dad Quote; Bittersweet memories; My Dad Was Right; Places in our Memories; Good Memories; Memories; Memories in Photographs;  Scent of a memory; Spicy Memories; Dear Mum and Dad; Swiss Sunday – Lasting Memories; In Memory;  Friday Fictioneers: Seeing Dad; Memories; A Special Man And His Memories; Wayward Memory; Infinite Dad; Places in our Memories; A walk down the memory lane; Goodbye, Dad

Dad

This month is the 2nd anniversary of my dad’s passing.  I think of him several minutes out of every single day.  At different times he just pops into my mind. Sometimes a cloud shape, sometimes a semi-truck, sometimes a weird and funny event will cause him to just tumble through my brain.

Mom and Dad

Mom in the 1990’s – 2000s very far left dancing with dad and some random woman

For flash back Thursday I’m reminded of a true cowboy my daddy. I laugh because turned the TV low and behold gunsmoke is the first thing I see is Matt Dillon riding a buckskin horse. See my daddy was like Matt Dillon kind loving and oh so handsome. Days may come and go but the love of my daddy will never fade. Just as the reruns of Gunsmoke. So my message today is people my leave our lives but there memories will forever last in our hearts.

Dad are you really smiling? Montana Camping trip.

Camp trip in Montana. Sis and dad

Old photos of my family. Mom/dad sisters

This is a little doohickey dad found in a parking lot. Snidely rode with my dad for nearly 40 years when he was a truck driver.

He was the strongest, the most handsome and the friendliest man I have ever had the privilege of meeting.  He was the protector and provider always.  He could be gruff, but usually was only that way to scare the boys off of his 3 little girls.  He has always been my hero.  ALWAYS.

These words below were not his obviously, but weeks before he passed, he said some things very similar to my sisters and me.  Dad I miss you.  More than any words or photos can demonstrate. Love, Sami

“Dear Deborah,

Words do not come easily for so many men. We are taught to be strong, to provide, to put away our emotions. A father can work his way through his days and never see that his years are going by. If I could go back in time, I would say some things to that young father as he holds, somewhat uncertainly, his daughter for the very first time. These are the things I would say:

When you hear the first whimper in the night, go to the nursery leaving your wife sleeping. Rock in a chair, walk the floor, sing a lullaby so that she will know a man can be gentle.

When Mother is away for the evening, come home from work, do the babysitting. Learn to cook a hotdog or a pot of spaghetti, so that your daughter will know a man can serve another’s needs.

When she performs in school plays or dances in recitals, arrive early, sit in the front seat, devote your full attention. Clap the loudest, so that she will know a man can have eyes only for her.

When she asks for a tree house, don’t just build it, but build it with her. Sit high among the branches and talk about clouds, and caterpillars, and leaves. Ask her about her dreams and wait for her answers, so that she will know a man can listen.

When you pass by her door as she dresses for a date, tell her she is beautiful. Take her on a date yourself. Open doors, buy flowers, look her in the eye, so that she will know a man can respect her.

When she moves away from home, send a card, write a note, call on the phone. If something reminds you of her, take a minute to tell her, so that she will know a man can think of her even when she is away.

Tell her you love her, so that she will know a man can say the words.

If you hurt her, apologize, so that she will know a man can admit that he’s wrong.

These seem like such small things, such a fraction of time in the course of two lives. But a thread does not require much space. It can be too fine for the eye to see, yet, it is the very thing that binds, that takes pieces and laces them into a whole.

Without it, there are tatters.

It is never too late for a man to learn to stitch, to begin mending.

These are the things I would tell that young father, if I could.

A daughter grown up quickly. There isn’t time to waste.

I love you,
Dad”
― Lisa Wingate

MeMaw / PaPaw

Not a difficult word or even an unknown word.  However, when I was going through some old photos I have today, I ran into some pictures of my own grandparents.  To me they were just grandma and grandpa.

The first records of the word grandparent come from the 1800.  In the U.S., National Grandparents Day is celebrated on the first Sunday after Labor Day.

When my daughters were born, I was lucky enough to have my grandmothers on both my mom’s side and my dad’s side.  They also had grandparents on their father’s side of the family.  To lessen the confusion, each had their own unique name.  My grandma on my dad’s side became “Old Grandma” as she was in fact very old.  On my mom’s side it was just grandma Barney.  

When my grandkids were born, I became Grammy Sami due to a friend/colleague naming me that and it just stuck. I have friends named MeMaw, PaPaw, Bushka, pops, and so on.  Where do these names come from?  Usually from the mouths of babes.  It’s likely the only way they could pronounce it.  It’s funny that no matter what you are called by the little uns, it sticks.  

Chinese: YéYé or YehYeh (paternal); Gōng Gong or Wàigōng (maternal)  Filipino: Lolo (most common), Ingkong, Lelong, AbweloFlemish: Bompa, Bompi, Opa, Opi  French: Grand-père, Grand-papa, Pépère, Papy, Papi  French Canadian: Pépé, Pépère, Papi   German: Opa  Greek: Pappoús, Pappoo, Papu, Papou  Hawaiian: Tutu kane, Kuku kane   Hebrew: Saba, Sabba   Italian: Nonno, Nonnuccio, Nonnino, Nonnetto   Irish: Seanathair, Daideó Japanese: Ojiisan, Sofu, Jiji   Korean: Haraboji, Harabeoji, Halaboji, Halabeoji  Polish: Dziadek, Dziadziu  Portuguese: Avô, Avozinho, Vovô,  Vo  Russian: Dedushka, Deda, Dedulya   Spanish: Abuelo, Abuelito, Lito  Yiddish: Zayde, Zaydee, Zaydeh

 

The Evolution of Grandparents

• People today typically live long enough to become grandparents, but this was not always the case.
• Recent analyses of fossil teeth indicate that grandparents were rare in ancient populations, such as those of the australopithecines and the Neandertals. They first became common around 30,000 years ago, as evidenced by remains of early modern Europeans.
• This surge in the number of seniors may have been a driving force for the explosion of new tool types and art forms that occurred in Europe at around the same time. It also may explain how modern humans outcompeted archaic groups such as the Neandertals.

“I miss him still today: his long, whiskery eyebrows, his huge hands and hugs, his warmth, his prayers, his stories, but above all his shining example of how to live and how to die.”
― Bear Grylls

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“I’ll never forget today! I’ll always remember, I know!   Grandfather looked up through the cellar window at the late-summer trees stirring in a colder wind. “Of course you will, Tom,” he said. “Of course you will.”
― Ray Bradbury

Several funny grandparent nicknames.  calmkate; sadje; neotrinity; obbverse; abigail; lois; deemskye; dave; rose; amtolle 

 

neologism

neologism – early 19th century: from French néologisme . A newly coined word or expression. – Words or expressions used within a profession, industry or group.

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work. ~~Carl Sandburg

Slang – The subset of a language.  It’s a type of communication that includes words and phrases that are generally informal and usually restricted to the people of a specific age, group, gender, or location. Secret speak, private coms, military acronyms, etc.  Communications that no one understands but the people within that special group or clan.  It’s the mother tongue of an entire nation down to the the quiet understanding of family that grew up in the same house and often does not even involve words.  

“Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)” ~~ Douglas Adams Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy

The language of sisters is even more private.  It’s a language that started straight out of the womb, through the good times, the bad hair, the break ups, and the births.  Through the rough spots where you stop talking completely to the devastating losses that bring you bring you back together.  From the beginning to the end.

“Sisters don’t need words. They have perfected their own secret language of smiles, sniffs, sighs, gasps, winks and eye rolls.” ~~ Unknown

My sisters

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“Sisters may drive you crazy, get into your stuff and irritate you.                        However, if anyone else dares say so, a sister will defend you to the death.”                      ~~ Unknown

Followed by my daughters – the apples do not fall far from the trees.  Nor, apparently, do the experiences!! 

“We are sisters. We will always be sisters. Our differences may never go away, but neither, for me, will our song.”- Elizabeth Fishel 

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“At this point, none of us are sure why we fight. We’re sisters. We need no good reason to fight, even though we have plenty of them.” ~~ Ken Wheaton 

Pidgin – An amalgamation of two disparate languages, used by two populations having no common language as a lingua franca to communicate with each other, lacking formalized grammar and having a small, utilitarian vocabulary and no native speakers. Restructured language.

Vernacular – Adjective: Used in or suitable for everyday conversation rather than formal or official contexts. Of, or pertaining to, everyday or colloquial language. Limited to a particular area. Of the indigenous inhabitants of a place. From or in a nearby location. Noun: The language or dialect spoken by the ordinary people in a particular country or region. Commonly known term.

Argot – A secret language or conventional slang peculiar to thieves, tramps and vagabonds

“Well,’ said Can o’ Beans, a bit hesitantly,’ imprecise speech is one of the major causes of mental illness in human beings.’
Huh?’
Quite so. The inability to correctly perceive reality is often responsible for humans’ insane behavior. And every time they substitute an all-purpose, sloppy slang word for the words that would accurately describe an emotion or a situation, it lowers their reality orientations, pushes them farther from shore, out onto the foggy waters of alienation and confusion.’
The manner in which the other were regarding him/her made Can O’ Beans feel compelled to continue. ‘The word neat, for example, has precise connotations. Neat means tidy, orderly, well-groomed. It’s a valuable tool for describing the appearance of a room, a hairdo, or a manuscript. When it’s generically and inappropriately applied, though, as it is in the slang aspect, it only obscures the true nature of the thing or feeling that it’s supposed to be representing. It’s turned into a sponge word. You can wring meanings out of it by the bucketful–and never know which one is right. When a person says a movie is ‘neat,’ does he mean that it’s funny or tragic or thrilling or romantic, does he mean that the cinematography is beautiful, the acting heartfelt, the script intelligent, the direction deft, or the leading lady has cleavage to die for? Slang possesses an economy, an immediacy that’s attractive, all right, but it devalues experience by standardizing and fuzzing it. It hangs between humanity and the real world like a . . . a veil. Slang just makes people more stupid, that’s all, and stupidity eventually makes them crazy. I’d hate to ever see that kind of craziness rub off onto objects.”   ~~ Tom Robbins

Languages:  Alexis; Secret Language of Winter; Misky; MjDixit; ContentCatnip; BHW; dragonflypoetry; MSnubutterflies; thoughtsmith; lacaschronicles; FamFriendDB; Family’s secret language; vox; storyreadingape

 

Brouhaha

Brouhaha. This is a word we are sure many people have heard and it is still used a lot today. This refers to an uproar or big event.

“If your tendency is to make sense out of chaos, start chaos.”   -Carlos Castaneda

Definitions:  noun

1. a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something.

It’s a word that can mean dispute, argument, altercation, disturbance, commotion, upset, agitation, uprising, etc.

“Chaos is inherent in all compound things. Strive on with diligence.”   -Buddha     

However, I love this word.  Partly because it is fun to say and partly because i feel it describes every single time I am able to get together with friends or family.  Quiet we are not.  And yes, sometimes in my life, it also means all of the above negative words.. but usually it all ends up being pure and good time spent together and just a lot of noisy activity.

“Chaos is a good thing.” -Robert Lepage 

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“See, I think there are roads that lead us to each other. But in my family, there were no roads – just underground tunnels. I think we all got lost in those underground tunnels. No, not lost. We just lived there.”  ― Benjamin Alire Sáenz

“I want to create a little chaos and make people’s heads turn.”    -Scott Caan

Noise: annamosca; Michael; reenabist; Eugenia; hobbo; Littlelearner; oluwafunkemorountonu; Crazygreenthumbs; steph; Karissa; tgeriatrix; Saba; Yamini; Irene; 365: marsha; kirt; jeanne; silver; sue; Naturebitch; Sustainability; Patchwork ; Roamingurbangypsy; Piecesofstarlight; Poetry; Naomi; Plants; Still-life; Butterflies; Nowathome  Other Colorful blogs:  Michelle; Lumar; Kila; Mirador; Wind; Quotidian; PDJpix; Naomi; Grieflessons; 2geeks3knots; Writeouttanowhere; rewired; Oh the places we see; Wooly; Ledrake; Figments