Onism


Onism (noun) Origin: Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows | The awareness of how little of the world you will experience.

“The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time, which is like standing in front of the departures screen at an airport, flickering over with strange city names like other people’s passwords, each representing one more thing you’ll never get to see before you die.”

ETYMOLOGY: Portmanteau of monism (the philosophical view that a variety of things can be explained in terms of a single reality) + onanism (alternative word for self-pleasure).

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Taking a picture of folks on a bus and feeling a little sad that I am not on that bus because they appear to be having so much fun.  Even when I am enjoying exactly where I am and what I am doing.

Being ok with where I currently am (Malabo), but wistfully wishing I was back where I was (Croatia here). So magical.  Sort of the grass is always greener attitude, which I hate.

“I looked through others’ windows
On an enchanted earth
But out of my own window–
solitude and dearth.

And yet there is a mystery
I cannot understand–
That others through my window
See an enchanted land.”
― Jessie B. Rittenhouse’

Greener grasses:  SMB; J-DUB; Planetmom; Brittnjess; Sarah; herman; Liv; meatnpotatoes; Joyce; KG; bratty; ninjawhales; Lyna; Brendan

Schwellenangst


Schwellenangst (noun) Origin: German | Fear of crossing a threshold to embark on something new.

ETYMOLOGY: From the German words Schwelle (threshold) + Angst (anxiety).

My dad passed in October and when I saw this word, it brought me back to his passing.  It still causes angst in my heart along with the realization that I have embarked on a new journey.  A journey that will no longer include my father or my mother.

In the U.S. death is viewed with angst, with fear, with trepidation, with not many positive words.  All of these words are true, but more for the living than for the dying.  Even the word passed is a euphemism that makes you think that the threshold is just something you walk through which makes the actual event that much more traumatic (for the living).  Watching someone die is traumatic. Devastating.

The word also brought me back to my time in Nepal.  In Nepal bodies are generally cremated.  They are carried through the street (also generally) and brought to the sacred area where folks sit on one side of a river and 5-9 bodies would be laid to rest on the other side of the river and publicly and openly cremated.  Families would gather on the other side of the river and watch the events.  There would often be food and drink shared and people would come and go from the cremation area.  Anyone could stand and watch or pass through this area.  At first it was super odd to watch but also fascinating.   Kids were playing nearby, monkeys begging for snacks, old people staring into the distance.  Who knows what they were contemplating.  There was sadness of course, but it was an expected event.  Everyone lives and everyone dies.

I actually found it reassuring.  Crossing the threshold is inevitable.  The end is not necessarily the most important part of the journey.  In Nepal, it was a reminder that we are all eventually smoke and ash.  The trick for me is not to be smoke and ash during the years I am passing through right now.  Here’s to the threshold!  Enjoy.

“Life itself means to separate and to be reunited, to change form and condition, to die and to be reborn. It is to act and to cease, to wait and to rest, and then to begin acting again, but in a different way. And there are always new thresholds to cross: the threshold of summer and winter, of season or a year, of a month of a night; the thresholds of birth, adolescence, maturity and old age; the threshold of death and that of the afterlife — for those who believe in it.”
― Arnold van Gennep

Threshold:  Thoughts; Hobbo; blindzanygirl; victoria; purplerays; strangers; heart; compassandcamera; beth; dale; brand; maedharanael; ben; tom; overthinking; shayan; swabby; Yinglan; Ramblings

Komorebi


Komorebi (noun) Origin: Japanese | The sunlight that filters through the trees.

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During my time in Nepal, I was able to visit an elephant rescue sanctuary.  There were parts of this place that were stunning.  It was amazing to be so close to such massive and gentle beasts.  The surroundings were magical with the the sun lightly shining through the trees.

However, in the end, I was not in love with the place or the concept of this particular reserve. As I looked at these majestic animals, at each part of the animal, I became a little sad.  A baby separated from its mother, sad eyes, chains.  So many tourists. Myself included.

I promised myself I would not participate in this type of tour again.  I support animal rescue efforts.  However, this one left me feeling a little empty.  One day I would love to participate in a tour that allows me to visit elephants when they are roaming free and in their natural habitat.

A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages.
― Tennessee Williams

The truth is I love being alive. And I love feeling free. So if I can’t have those things then I feel like a caged animal and I’d rather not be in a cage. I’d rather be dead. And it’s real simple. And I think it’s not that uncommon. – Angelina Jolie

Ava; Philosophy; Shivani; Goff; tasview; redcat; Pat; candice; Mike

Aprosexia – Hyperprosexia – Paraprosexia – yup that’s me


Aprosexia, an abnormal inability to pay attention, characterized by near-complete indifference to everything. Opposite is hyperprosexia, meaning to concentrate on one thing to the exclusion of everything else; and, paraprosexia, meaning the inability to pay attention to anyone thing (a state of constant distraction).

When I find myself under duress, I believe that the word aprosexia is exactly what I am.  I can’t focus, I am easily distracted and it’s not because I can’t focus, it is more because I really just don’t care about what you are trying to get me to care about.  I just do not care.  Nothing you can do or say will bring me back from where ever I am.

Ironically, I am also very much almost completely the opposite.  I have been accused of being incredibly hyperprosexia when I am really into something.  I can be so deeply focused on just ONE thing that I get angry when I am in the middle of it and just want to be left alone.  There are special things that have me intensely occupied and when someone attempts to distract me from completing that special project I can quietly lose my mind.  This happens when I am working on an art project, reading a really good book, or just trying to get an important task done.

However, if there was ever a word that described me almost completely, it would likely be paraprosexia.  I am very good at being easily distracted.  I am great at multi-tasking because I operate better when there are a million things going on at the same time.  I tell circular stories.  I can start a joke, get distracted with my thoughts, my words, my ideas and my actions, and eventually get to the punchline.  My mind is often working overtime like these dancers in Nepal.  Crazy colors, sounds, and movement.  It’s my favorite place to be.

savage; boheme; Herry; Jonathan; Divine; hubner; Judy; quest; marie

Strikhedonia


Strikhedonia (n.) – Origin: Greek  – Definition: The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it!”

I did it on a whim, just for the hell of it.  There was no particular reason, rhyme, or directive.  I can’t say the devil made me do it, I was not goaded into action. I didn’t have to do it. It wasn’t right or wrong.  It wasn’t even to satisfy a whim.  It was there and I did it. No apologies. No regrets.  Now, it seems, I can’t stop.

“My body is my journal, and my tattoos are my story.”
― Johnny Depp

“Believe it or not, some of us have piercings and tattoos and dye our hair because we think it looks pretty, not for any deep sociological reason. This isn’t an act of protest against cultural or social repression. It’s not a grand, deliberately defiant gesture against capitalists or feminists or any other social group. It’s not even the fashion equivalent to sticking two fingers up at the world. The boring truth of it, Gabriel, is that I don’t dress like this to hurt my parents or draw attention to myself or make a statement. I just do it because I think it looks nice. Disappointed?”
― Alex Bel

Just do it:  Abigail; Brad; Dave; Manishasky; asantapied; savannah; akindheart; jojo; Michael; cat; Deb; 12raisins; jolens; nishabd; hobbo; Ray; Adrienne; Joana