Aprosexia, an abnormal inability to pay attention, characterized by near-complete indifference to everything. Opposite is hyperprosexia, meaning to concentrate on one thing to the exclusion of everything else; and, paraprosexia, meaning the inability to pay attention to anyone thing (a state of constant distraction).
When I find myself under duress, I believe that the word aprosexia is exactly what I am. I can’t focus, I am easily distracted and it’s not because I can’t focus, it is more because I really just don’t care about what you are trying to get me to care about. I just do not care. Nothing you can do or say will bring me back from where ever I am.
Ironically, I am also very much almost completely the opposite. I have been accused of being incredibly hyperprosexia when I am really into something. I can be so deeply focused on just ONE thing that I get angry when I am in the middle of it and just want to be left alone. There are special things that have me intensely occupied and when someone attempts to distract me from completing that special project I can quietly lose my mind. This happens when I am working on an art project, reading a really good book, or just trying to get an important task done.
However, if there was ever a word that described me almost completely, it would likely be paraprosexia. I am very good at being easily distracted. I am great at multi-tasking because I operate better when there are a million things going on at the same time. I tell circular stories. I can start a joke, get distracted with my thoughts, my words, my ideas and my actions, and eventually get to the punchline. My mind is often working overtime like these dancers in Nepal. Crazy colors, sounds, and movement. It’s my favorite place to be.
Yūgen (n.) – Origin: Japanese – Definition: An awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.
I try to honestly and emphatically embrace the mysteries that surround me. I usually prefer taking photos of people. I love to look back on them and wonder what they were thinking. If they were happy or sad or just sitting there empty minded in a way that I rarely find myself in. However, sometimes I will catch an image of an object or place that will trigger in me an emotional response that is very difficult to put into words. When i look back on these photos, i can distinctly remember the silence, the heat, the cold, the dampness, and sometimes the awe of that moment.
I don’t know if these images created an awareness of the universe, but they definitely made me feel.
There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle. The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt is awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
Mångata (noun) Origin: Swedish | The reflection of the moon on the water.
The sun rising.. the moon setting.. the moon rising.. the sun setting. I am lost in the dance. Which is which? I think I know and then I look again and I can’t decide. Does it matter? The start of one and the end of the other which only signals the start of one and the end of the other.
I think that the reflections of the moon on water are amazing. Just as the reflections of the sun on the water are blinding. I am a day person by nature, but you can’t stare at the sun like you can stare at the moon. I love the moon because when it is big and round, you can see the imperfections but you still love it. You still know that it is beautiful. It casts eerie shadows and changes size and appearance when you move. While it is changing, as you move, it follows you. The sun does the same. So does it matter which is which?
In my opinion, they are equal in beauty, substance, and style. Specifically with a nice glass of red. So I ask you, does it really matter?
“The moon is a loyal companion.
It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.
Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
― Tahereh Maf
“There’s something about arriving in new cities, wandering empty streets with no destination. I will never lose the love for the arriving, but I’m born to leave.”
― Charlotte Eriksson
Whenever I get travel weary, all I have to do is look back on the past 12 years and that crazee wanderlust lights it torch and blinds me once again. I have been called a vagabond, a gypsy, homeless in theory, among others. However, the words used would lead one to believe that I do not actually have a home. Anyone who knows me, knows that no matter where I lay my hat, Spokane is my home. I just have a natural urge to travel. I love the food, the sights, the drink, the sounds.
As much as I love to wander and roam… to me there’s really no better place than home. Until I am ready to go again. It’s the only real addiction I have.
“The world is full of wonderful things you haven’t seen yet. Don’t ever give up on the chance of seeing them.” ~J.K. Rowling
“Half the fun of the travel is the esthetic of lostness.” ~ Ray Bradbury
“You’re not sorry to go, of course. With people like us our home is where we are not… No one person in the world is necessary to you or to me.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
“There’s a race of men that don’t fit in,
A race that can’t sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest; Their’s is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don’t know how to rest.” ~Robert Service
One of the biggest challenges I face every single day is limiting myself. I use too many words, too many photos, to many colors in literally every single thing I do. For the next 30 days I am challenging myself to express only one thought, one photo, one color, one something.. just one. My caveat might be that my one photo will also accompany one quote or word or personal idea. However, just one. I hope you enjoy.