Comeuppance


Comeuppance. This is definitely a word you probably heard your grandparents use at some point and it is used in many films set in the 1920s to the 1950s or 60s. This is a fun word and it should be used more than it is. It means that someone will get what they deserve or will “get their just deserts.”

In other words . . . . Karma’s a bitch.

I believe this.  With all of my heart, I believe this.  In my own world, this has been true. I feel like I have always been the recipient of Karma.  When I do bad, I get bad.  When I do good, I get good. I do not think this is an accident. I think it is an intentional payment for my actions.

My own opinion is that if I keep juggling, then all the balls will stay in the air and my comeuppance will never come down, however richly deserved. — Mark Lawrence

It is true that on my best days I am often a hot mess.  Or at least appear to others that I am a hot mess.  My communication style is frustrating to many, both up and down the hierarchical system in which I work.  I often annoy and frustrate the people around me.  I’ve even been anonymously told that I am not respected by many of my peers.  I move too quickly for most people to actually understand what I am doing.  My mind is chaotic so my actions sometimes appear chaotic.  I am a crack up.. or cracked up.

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Even though I sometimes get my feelings hurt, I don’t look at these criticisms as completely negative attributes. My chaotic nature helps me to find great solutions.  I get things done.  I never leave things incomplete.  I do things correctly and I usually end up achieving more success than anyone ever expected.  I shoot for mediocrity and I achieve it every single time. I am sooo ok with this.

There are issues with this attitude and lifestyle for sure.  Well, where to start with the negative comeuppances that have come my way.  I am often misunderstood. Many of my bosses indicate that they never knew how hard their jobs were until I arrived.  Many colleagues, friends, and family are frustrated with my confusing communicatory delivery system.  My sense of humor can be annoying.  I have not risen as high as many of my colleagues.

I am often perceived as not caring.  Maybe it’s the fact that I often use phrases like “No, me importa!” or “मलाई मतलब छैन” or “je m’en fous” or 난 상관없어” (I don’t care)!!!

The truth is, I care deeply.  Very deeply. Just not about most of the things others care about.

The positive comeuppances for me have been that my work-life balance is awesome.  My aim for mediocrity has had me soaring through the tree limbs hardly ever impaling myself in the branches.  Though I fall often, I don’t fall far.  My crashes barely bruise me these days.  Every single downward trajectory has me finding ways to get back up.

“I long for the simplicity of theatre. I want lessons learned, comeuppances delivered, people sorted out, all before your bladder gets distractingly full. That’s what I want. What I know is what we all know, whether we’ll admit it or not: every attempt to impose the roundness of a well-made play on reality produces a disaster. Life just isn’t so, nor will it be made so.”
John M. Ford

As a matter of fact, I always get back up and live to quietly complain in my head about the naysayers and jerks.  I often believe, but am more-often proved wrong, that they too will receive every bit of comeuppance they deserve!

In the end, none of that matters, because the truth is … I am currently living in my just desserts …. and they taste just fine.   

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“If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.”- Kurt Cobain

Karma: brad; Luanne; Krish; rehan; Lydia; scott; lesley; over; nightpoet; kimli; weare; swati

Coddiwomple


Coddiwomple (v.) – Origin: English Slang Word – Definition: To travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination.

Tsunami Sam

This is possibly and probably the most accurate word that describes my travels through life.  I have coddiwompled my way through every path I have taken.  I seldom look back.  Even seldomer look back with regret.  There is nothing I can do to change or mend the past and so it is a constant and purposeful march forward.

I have been accused of running from situations.   This is a lie or a bit of confusion on the part of the observers.  I never run from, I always run to.. to sun, smiles, laughter, stronger than me people, change, life, experiences, expressions, desires, beauty, music, dreams.  I do it with intent, with purpose, with hope.

It is true that I often do not know exactly where I am going or where I will end up.  I just know that standing still equals never ending up anywhere. Constantly moving towards things does not necessarily mean moving entirely from where you are standing, it simply means moving mentally and sometimes physically towards these vague destinations.

And WOW… the places these marches have taken me!.

I keep traveling towards things because there is no other option for me.  I’m at a point in my life where I will be making some very heavy decisions about how I want to continue coddiwomping through the rest of my days.  Do I want to plant my feet solidly in one place to allow deep roots to form again, or do I want to keep physically moving around.

I’m not bothered by vagueness. Vagueness, to me, means possibilities.  One day I will be less able to physically and forcefully march towards those crazy dreams and vague promises of excitement and adventure.  So until then, I will coddiwomple, burn, rage, dream, cry, dance, and blaze towards ……

royal throne

………….  I guess we will just have to wait and see!

Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas – 1914-1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Other Coddiwomplers: RV; HC; Sheri; John; Robert; Rick; M&M; BristolMum; TWS; 1K2: noble; Kathleen; C2D

Resfeber


Resfeber (n.) – Origin: Swedish – Definition: The restless race of the traveler’s heart before the journey begins, when anxiety and anticipation are tangled together.

I have had so many people tell me that I have been a very lucky person.  I have been lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time.  I’m lucky that I have a job.  I’m lucky that life has gifted me with so many great things.  I’m so lucky.  LuCk LucKluck!!

This accusation has always confused me. I used to try to argue that point.  The point being that luck did not have much to do with who I was, where I was, or really,  anything in my life.

What we call luck is the inner man externalized. We make things happen to us. – Robertson Davies

I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. – Thomas Jefferson

I used to try to explain that I had been given opportunities.  Opportunities that I chose to accept.  I used to try to explain that I had been presented with choices.  Choices I had to decide on and decisions I had to make.  One of the biggest choices I have had to make in life was to keep moving forward and to try not to look back, dwell on the past, and have regrets for the choices I had made.  This was not always easy, but the truth is, you cannot change the past, so why go there.

“Don’t look back and ask, Why? Look ahead and ask, Why not?”-Neil Patel

If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe; she would of not had become a princess.

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When you have butterflies and you’re feeling anxious and you have anxiety or are nervous, that’s when you’re most powerful… A lot of people, instead of honing this power and using it, they allow it to just consume them. 
― Jon Jones

I know that I have made mistakes in my life.  Everyone has.  I just chose to no longer beat myself up over them.  I always tried my best to stand back up, dust myself off, and try .. try.. try again.  Just go for it.  Do it.  I try to be reasonable when presented with choices.  I try to make the best decisions with the situations that I have to choose from.  Sometimes, the making of the decisions was nauseating.  Sometimes, there were very few options in front of me. Sometimes, I had to close my eyes, hold my breath, and just keep moving.

In the end, I just made the decision and went with it. I mean, what’s the worse that could happen?  Death? Possibly.  However, I did the work, made the decision, took the chance… often with a great leap of faith.  AND tada… here I am… and there I was… and here I am again.  Would the other way have been better?  I will never know.  Would I even want to know?

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Sometimes there are no words to help one’s courage. Sometimes you just have to jump.
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Those who don’t jump will never fly.
― Leena Ahmad Almashat

All I can say is… the view is often more beautiful .. the life is often unexpected..  the bad is often followed by the good… the ups are often followed by the downs and then back to the ups.. It all flows in a circular pattern.  It’s tipsy, topsy, turvy, and sometimes upside down.  You really can’t have the best without the worst or the tippy without the toe.  There is no such thing as one without the other. Take that leap and fly, baby fly.

My whole life has been spent walking by the side of a bottomless chasm, jumping from stone to stone. Sometimes I try to leave my narrow path and join the swirling mainstream of life, but I always find myself drawn inexorably back towards the chasm’s edge, and there I shall walk until the day I finally fall into the abyss.
― Edvard Munch

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Resfeber:  umesh; swede; allen; rad; mousumi; suzette; frank; johna; reggi; reena; beth; nimue; Rob

Kopfkino


Kopfkino (noun) Origin: German | The act of playing out an entire scenario in your mind.

Hard translation is “head cinema” and as the definition goes, these are for those times where you start daydreaming or imagining scenarios about how a situation will unravel.

I live in my head.  Specifically when I am stressed out. My specific types of scenarios are often referred to as “heroic imagination” scenarios.  Yes.  I am the hero of my own dreams and my own imaginations. Of course to be a hero, you have to face adversity, trials, and tribulations.  I will admit that my scenarios run the outrageous to the often outlandishly ridiculous extreme. In my imagination, I never stood quietly by why bullies beat down the underdog.

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. ~ Edmund Burke

I used to think it was weird.  Even when I was in the middle of one of these mental scenarios.  This existing in the reality of feeling inadequate, beaten down, or inadequate while at the same time co-existing in my wonderful mental reality of always overcoming the odds and taking out societies bullies and deviants through my Emmett Brown – mad-scientist high-intellect, James Bond -smarmy attitude, and MacGyver-like ingenuity.

What I believe played a part in my transition from every day nerd kid to heroic fixer of all things evil (or moderately annoying)?  As I researched this phenomena, I came to realize that this affliction might very well come from the wealth of random and situational realities that I grew up in.

When I was very young, most of my childhood heroes wore capes, flew through the air, or picked up buildings with one arm. They were spectacular and got a lot of attention. But as I grew, my heroes changed, so that now I can honestly say that anyone who does anything to help a child is a hero to me. – Fred Rogers

Helicopter Parents – When I grew up, the definition of a helicopter parent would have been: A parent who randomly flies by and zooms off.  From about the age of 2-7, my sisters and i had free run of the yard and back alley and possibly the block our house existed on. Parents would look out the windows or neighbors would babysit us from their own windows.  We knew how to behave (mostly) because we knew we would be ratted out by the ratfink neighbors. From 7-11, we managed to work our territory to the local playground, swimming pool, chasing ice cream trucks for miles, and sometimes even to our downtown area. As long as we were back home before dark … or before our parents got home, we were pretty much never in trouble.  From 11-18 we pretty much did what we wanted and then begged for forgiveness after the fact.  This is not to say that we never got in trouble or found ourselves in ridiculous predicaments.  I imagine this is definitely one of the reasons my heroic imagination developed.  Childhood is sometimes kind of scary and to overcome this, I developed scenarios where I could rescue myself and my sisters.

80s movies – The Garbage Pail Kids, Killer Clowns from Outer Space, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Adventures in Babysitting, Better Off Dead, Breakfast Club, Red Dawn, Footloose, Weird Science, all of the Stephen King movies.  Really, almost every 80s movie ever made. Outlandish scenarios with outlandish heroes.

You can kind of see the hero in me.  Right?  Always in disguise. Kind of amazing.

Reading Books – I was a bit of a loner and super shy as a child.  I always played the part of the underdog.  I had a great imagination.  I read book after book about children and teens on magical adventures, or misadventures.  Kids who overcame difficulties like being kidnapped, shipwrecked, abandoned, etc.  They always managed to come out on top.  They were kids with moral courage and the willingness, adaptability and wherewithal to overcome the odds and stand up to evil in every form.

Military Training – I joined the Navy at 16 and went to boot camp during the summer between my junior and senior year.  Part of this was due to my belief that I was really the only one I could count on to fix, save, repair myself or my sisters from some of the outrageous situations we often found ourselves in.  I mean, you have to learn to fight and control situations and what better way to do that. Bootcamp sucked.  But I did learn some life skills that have stayed with me to this day.  I’m not afraid of many things.

“I think a hero is really any person intent on making this a better place for all people.” – Maya Angelou

As I grew up, married, had kids, divorce, changed jobs, traveled, and everything else that happens in life, I still occasionally (often) revert back to  this heroic and positively deviant imagination.  For years I tried to break this habit because even I thought it was bizarre.  This existing in the actual world while equally and positively existing in this alternate and wonderful world where I overcame the odds every single time.

After years of doing this, I feel like it often helps me figure out daily situations.  As long as I am not zoning out and being inappropriate.  I mean I have never actually tried to wear a spandex outfit and climb the side of a building.  But this imagination has made me a little more situationally aware.  I have been told it is better to be a hero in my imagination than the one who is beaten down. I think I am more resilient these days and less afraid than I was as a child.  I hardly ever play the bystander which is super helpful in a crisis situation.  Sometimes, my imagination only brings me to a place of self-acceptance.  For me, being the hero of my own story has led me to more amazing places and good outcomes than had I chosen to remain in my less appealing realities.  They have taught me to dream big and actually take action on my dreams.  There ain’t nothing wrong with being a hero.  Even if, most of the time, it’s only in your head.

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” – Christopher Reeve

“The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.” – Felix Adler

Imagination: serendipity; Pete; yi-ching; ambivert; sandra; ben; aarzu; rahul; rajan; ally; norah

Eudaimonia


Eudaimonia (noun) Origin: Greek | A contented state of being happy, healthy, and prosperous.

Sometimes, when you are in the heat of it all.  Stress and fatigue are surrounding you.  People are screaming, judging, commenting with their own opinions on your opinion.

“You should feel beautiful and you should feel safe. What you surround yourself with should bring you peace of mind and peace of spirit.” —Stacy London

You feel like the world is against you.  You feel like there is just nothing left.  It’s a spiral.  It’s a tsunami.  It’s devastation.  It’s death.  It’s destruction.  Sometimes when you feel like you can not take one more thing:

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” —Dalai Lama

Close your eyes.

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” —Desmond Tutu

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Breathe deep.

“Not one of us can rest, be happy, be at home, be at peace with ourselves, until we end hatred and division.” —John Lewis

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Listen.  Listen to your heart.

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” —Jimi Hendrix

Feel.  Feel the joy you once felt.. you once felt at even one time in your life.

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” —Saint Francis de Sales

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Remember.  Remember the surprise at the tiny little miracles of every day that some time later became commonplace.

When things change inside you, things change around you.” —Unknown

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Do.  Do something.  Anything. Anything that moves you to the better place.

“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

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“If you don’t know the guy on the other side of the world, love him anyway because he’s just like you. He has the same dreams, the same hopes and fears. It’s one world, pal. We’re all neighbors.” —Frank Sinatra

I don’t believe a happy state of mind just happens.  Sometimes it’s a lot of freakn work.  It’s not realistic to expect to be ecstatic every single day.  However, it’s realistic to be happy more than not happy.  If you are not happy more than you are happy, then you need to change your scenery.  Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you control your reality and if you don’t.  Start.  Start doing things that bring you to Eudaimonia.

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“Peace comes from being able to contribute the best that we have, and all that we are, toward creating a world that supports everyone. But it is also securing the space for others to contribute the best that they have and all that they are.” —Hafsat Abiola

Eudaimonia in others:  David; Nourish; Micah; Matt; Eleanor; earthwalking; sophie; chungsoo; dream; the wave; sasi