Kopfkino


Kopfkino (noun) Origin: German | The act of playing out an entire scenario in your mind.

Hard translation is “head cinema” and as the definition goes, these are for those times where you start daydreaming or imagining scenarios about how a situation will unravel.

I live in my head.  Specifically when I am stressed out. My specific types of scenarios are often referred to as “heroic imagination” scenarios.  Yes.  I am the hero of my own dreams and my own imaginations. Of course to be a hero, you have to face adversity, trials, and tribulations.  I will admit that my scenarios run the outrageous to the often outlandishly ridiculous extreme. In my imagination, I never stood quietly by why bullies beat down the underdog.

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. ~ Edmund Burke

I used to think it was weird.  Even when I was in the middle of one of these mental scenarios.  This existing in the reality of feeling inadequate, beaten down, or inadequate while at the same time co-existing in my wonderful mental reality of always overcoming the odds and taking out societies bullies and deviants through my Emmett Brown – mad-scientist high-intellect, James Bond -smarmy attitude, and MacGyver-like ingenuity.

What I believe played a part in my transition from every day nerd kid to heroic fixer of all things evil (or moderately annoying)?  As I researched this phenomena, I came to realize that this affliction might very well come from the wealth of random and situational realities that I grew up in.

When I was very young, most of my childhood heroes wore capes, flew through the air, or picked up buildings with one arm. They were spectacular and got a lot of attention. But as I grew, my heroes changed, so that now I can honestly say that anyone who does anything to help a child is a hero to me. – Fred Rogers

Helicopter Parents – When I grew up, the definition of a helicopter parent would have been: A parent who randomly flies by and zooms off.  From about the age of 2-7, my sisters and i had free run of the yard and back alley and possibly the block our house existed on. Parents would look out the windows or neighbors would babysit us from their own windows.  We knew how to behave (mostly) because we knew we would be ratted out by the ratfink neighbors. From 7-11, we managed to work our territory to the local playground, swimming pool, chasing ice cream trucks for miles, and sometimes even to our downtown area. As long as we were back home before dark … or before our parents got home, we were pretty much never in trouble.  From 11-18 we pretty much did what we wanted and then begged for forgiveness after the fact.  This is not to say that we never got in trouble or found ourselves in ridiculous predicaments.  I imagine this is definitely one of the reasons my heroic imagination developed.  Childhood is sometimes kind of scary and to overcome this, I developed scenarios where I could rescue myself and my sisters.

80s movies – The Garbage Pail Kids, Killer Clowns from Outer Space, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Adventures in Babysitting, Better Off Dead, Breakfast Club, Red Dawn, Footloose, Weird Science, all of the Stephen King movies.  Really, almost every 80s movie ever made. Outlandish scenarios with outlandish heroes.

You can kind of see the hero in me.  Right?  Always in disguise. Kind of amazing.

Reading Books – I was a bit of a loner and super shy as a child.  I always played the part of the underdog.  I had a great imagination.  I read book after book about children and teens on magical adventures, or misadventures.  Kids who overcame difficulties like being kidnapped, shipwrecked, abandoned, etc.  They always managed to come out on top.  They were kids with moral courage and the willingness, adaptability and wherewithal to overcome the odds and stand up to evil in every form.

Military Training – I joined the Navy at 16 and went to boot camp during the summer between my junior and senior year.  Part of this was due to my belief that I was really the only one I could count on to fix, save, repair myself or my sisters from some of the outrageous situations we often found ourselves in.  I mean, you have to learn to fight and control situations and what better way to do that. Bootcamp sucked.  But I did learn some life skills that have stayed with me to this day.  I’m not afraid of many things.

“I think a hero is really any person intent on making this a better place for all people.” – Maya Angelou

As I grew up, married, had kids, divorce, changed jobs, traveled, and everything else that happens in life, I still occasionally (often) revert back to  this heroic and positively deviant imagination.  For years I tried to break this habit because even I thought it was bizarre.  This existing in the actual world while equally and positively existing in this alternate and wonderful world where I overcame the odds every single time.

After years of doing this, I feel like it often helps me figure out daily situations.  As long as I am not zoning out and being inappropriate.  I mean I have never actually tried to wear a spandex outfit and climb the side of a building.  But this imagination has made me a little more situationally aware.  I have been told it is better to be a hero in my imagination than the one who is beaten down. I think I am more resilient these days and less afraid than I was as a child.  I hardly ever play the bystander which is super helpful in a crisis situation.  Sometimes, my imagination only brings me to a place of self-acceptance.  For me, being the hero of my own story has led me to more amazing places and good outcomes than had I chosen to remain in my less appealing realities.  They have taught me to dream big and actually take action on my dreams.  There ain’t nothing wrong with being a hero.  Even if, most of the time, it’s only in your head.

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” – Christopher Reeve

“The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.” – Felix Adler

Imagination: serendipity; Pete; yi-ching; ambivert; sandra; ben; aarzu; rahul; rajan; ally; norah

Eudaimonia


Eudaimonia (noun) Origin: Greek | A contented state of being happy, healthy, and prosperous.

Sometimes, when you are in the heat of it all.  Stress and fatigue are surrounding you.  People are screaming, judging, commenting with their own opinions on your opinion.

“You should feel beautiful and you should feel safe. What you surround yourself with should bring you peace of mind and peace of spirit.” —Stacy London

You feel like the world is against you.  You feel like there is just nothing left.  It’s a spiral.  It’s a tsunami.  It’s devastation.  It’s death.  It’s destruction.  Sometimes when you feel like you can not take one more thing:

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” —Dalai Lama

Close your eyes.

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” —Desmond Tutu

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Breathe deep.

“Not one of us can rest, be happy, be at home, be at peace with ourselves, until we end hatred and division.” —John Lewis

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Listen.  Listen to your heart.

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” —Jimi Hendrix

Feel.  Feel the joy you once felt.. you once felt at even one time in your life.

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” —Saint Francis de Sales

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Remember.  Remember the surprise at the tiny little miracles of every day that some time later became commonplace.

When things change inside you, things change around you.” —Unknown

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Do.  Do something.  Anything. Anything that moves you to the better place.

“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

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“If you don’t know the guy on the other side of the world, love him anyway because he’s just like you. He has the same dreams, the same hopes and fears. It’s one world, pal. We’re all neighbors.” —Frank Sinatra

I don’t believe a happy state of mind just happens.  Sometimes it’s a lot of freakn work.  It’s not realistic to expect to be ecstatic every single day.  However, it’s realistic to be happy more than not happy.  If you are not happy more than you are happy, then you need to change your scenery.  Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you control your reality and if you don’t.  Start.  Start doing things that bring you to Eudaimonia.

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“Peace comes from being able to contribute the best that we have, and all that we are, toward creating a world that supports everyone. But it is also securing the space for others to contribute the best that they have and all that they are.” —Hafsat Abiola

Eudaimonia in others:  David; Nourish; Micah; Matt; Eleanor; earthwalking; sophie; chungsoo; dream; the wave; sasi

Trouvaille


Trouvaille (noun) Origin: French | A lucky find.

Perfect bubbles in a perfect sky.  I dreamt one time that I could live in a bubble.  Reflecting everything around me.  Rainbows, shadows, sun, and rain.  Floating in a fathomless world. Bubbles are enchanting and beautiful and so delicate.

Too delicate.

Once I grew up I realized that, for the most part, I was already living in a bubble.  Everyone was living in a bubble. As a matter of fact, most of us spend our entire life in a bubble. We spend our life in our cozy little bubbles, separated from other bubbles.  It’s a choice. Even if it’s a subconscious choice.  Your bubble is your norm.

Too, too delicate.

We get annoyed when our bubble is popped, or disturbed in any way. We label the things in our bubble so they are recognizable to us and our bubble friends.  It’s a comfortable place to live.

But so, so delicate. So, so fragile. So easy to burst.  That was a hard lesson but a necessary one.

My trouvaille was finding my bubble again.  Learning that I could come and go from my bubble and merge with other bubbles and leave again, undamaged. Realizing that no matter how far i strayed from the bubble, I would be able to return to it.  How lucky am I?

I enjoy the beauty of the bubble, they’re fluid and yet they have these geometric shapes so they do surprising things – two spheres become a single sphere – it’s what bubbles do. ~~Tom Noddy

Trouvaille: Ka; UtKarsh; strider; Dhanan; caholmes; Jess; viixiin

Day 26 ~ Who be They


I honestly do not have a whole lot to say today but I have committed to making it to Day 30 in a row.  So close.  Lucky for me I always have a random thought, or a multitude of random thoughts in my head that I often do not share.  Today’s first thought of the day was, “Who be they?” I’m not sure why I woke up with that thought but here it is.

So – to explain it, I would stay that it usually involves blame for your own life not working out as well as you thought it would.  Every time something goes wrong . . . it’s natural to assume that someone else is at fault or just had better luck than you did.

It’s easy to say things like, “If only they would have/would not have…” or “Why are they always trying to …”. “I can’t believe they…” Or what about, “They are so lucky!”

I will not say it’s never their fault, (whose fault?) But seriously, who be THEY?  Who are the magical they folks?  They are so lucky, they are so mean, they always get what they deserve. They always get what they want.  I try not to blame them (who?) but sometimes I can’t help it. Most of the time I don’t want to be anything other than what I’m trying to be lately (I told you I plagiarize but always give credit) But sometimes, I can’t help trying to be like them. (WHO!!! You know, THEM!!)  It never works out.  I do not have it in me to be anything but me.  It just never works out to try to match their style, their tone, their attitude. (I wish I knew who they were.)

If you know you are on the right track, if you have this inner knowledge, then nobody can turn you off… no matter what they say. ~ Barbara McClintock

I woke up this morning to Alicia Keys “Underdog” and just felt happy by the end of the song.  I read she wrote the song to inspire the overlooked and underestimated and I realized that she was talking about the theys.  I mean some of them.. in my opinion the majority of the theys are the underdogs.

I am a they.  I have always been a they and that’s ok.  Here’s to the theys.. to the yous.. to all of the ones who are the underdogs.  Who are the ones who are just trying to be what they are trying to be. Cups up and have a great day!

Alicia Keys “Underdog
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
She was walking in the street, looked up and noticed
He was nameless, he was homeless
She asked him his name and told him what hers was
He gave her a story ’bout a life
With a glint in his eye and a corner of a smile
One conversation, a simple moment
The things that change us if we notice
When we look up, sometimes
They said I would never make it
But I was built to break the mold
The only dream that I’ve been chasing is my own
So I sing a song for the hustlers trading at the bus stop
Single mothers waiting on a check to come
Young teachers, student doctors
Sons on the frontline knowing they don’t get to run
This goes out to the underdog
Keep on keeping at what you love
You’ll find that someday soon enough
You will rise up, rise up,…

Gavin DeGraw  ” I Don’t Want to Be

I don’t need to be anything other
Than a prison guard’s son
I don’t need to be anything other
Than a specialist’s son
I don’t have to be anyone other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I’m going, is knowing where I’m coming from
I don’t want to be
Anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms
Wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
I’m surrounded by liars
Everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by imposters
Everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by identity crisis
Everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed? I can’t be the only one who’s learned
I don’t want to be
Anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms
Wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone’s attention please?
If you’re not like this and that, you’re gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situation-made from clay to stone
And now I’m telling everybody
I don’t want to be
Anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms
Wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be…

“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.” — John Wagner


“Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year.” — David Dweck

Every Monday I wake up motivated to start on the right foot. Or the left.  It doesn’t really matter.  My goal is simply to remove unnecessary chaos.  I diligently plan, prep skeleton schedules,create alternate plans should unexpected issues arise.  By Friday, I am on it like white on rice.

“I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.”— Unknown

I often come in on the weekend just to ensure success. I don’t mind. I love organization. I love preparations. I mean…I have managed every single situation that has ever been flung on me.  I got this!  EVERY THING EVERY TIME!  I have successfully worked through earthquakes, civil unrest, teenage daughters, and every other form of man-made and natural chaotic event.

But …then … comes … Monday.

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Followed by Tuesday … Wednesday … Thursday … and TGIF.

“There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” ­— Henry Kissinger

Begin again… repeat …. this week will definitely be different.  Sooooooooo…. Every Monday I wake up motivated to start on the right foot. Or the left. It doesn’t really matter. My goal is simply to remove unnecessary chaos. I ….. well you get it….

“Some days, the best thing about the job is that the chair spins.”— Unknown