Dad


This month is the 2nd anniversary of my dad’s passing.  I think of him several minutes out of every single day.  At different times he just pops into my mind. Sometimes a cloud shape, sometimes a semi-truck, sometimes a weird and funny event will cause him to just tumble through my brain.

He was the strongest, the most handsome and the friendliest man I have ever had the privilege of meeting.  He was the protector and provider always.  He could be gruff, but usually was only that way to scare the boys off of his 3 little girls.  He has always been my hero.  ALWAYS.

These words below were not his obviously, but weeks before he passed, he said some things very similar to my sisters and me.  Dad I miss you.  More than any words or photos can demonstrate. Love, Sami

Dear Deborah,

Words do not come easily for so many men. We are taught to be strong, to provide, to put away our emotions. A father can work his way through his days and never see that his years are going by. If I could go back in time, I would say some things to that young father as he holds, somewhat uncertainly, his daughter for the very first time. These are the things I would say:

When you hear the first whimper in the night, go to the nursery leaving your wife sleeping. Rock in a chair, walk the floor, sing a lullaby so that she will know a man can be gentle.

When Mother is away for the evening, come home from work, do the babysitting. Learn to cook a hotdog or a pot of spaghetti, so that your daughter will know a man can serve another’s needs.

When she performs in school plays or dances in recitals, arrive early, sit in the front seat, devote your full attention. Clap the loudest, so that she will know a man can have eyes only for her.

When she asks for a tree house, don’t just build it, but build it with her. Sit high among the branches and talk about clouds, and caterpillars, and leaves. Ask her about her dreams and wait for her answers, so that she will know a man can listen.

When you pass by her door as she dresses for a date, tell her she is beautiful. Take her on a date yourself. Open doors, buy flowers, look her in the eye, so that she will know a man can respect her.

When she moves away from home, send a card, write a note, call on the phone. If something reminds you of her, take a minute to tell her, so that she will know a man can think of her even when she is away.

Tell her you love her, so that she will know a man can say the words.

If you hurt her, apologize, so that she will know a man can admit that he’s wrong.

These seem like such small things, such a fraction of time in the course of two lives. But a thread does not require much space. It can be too fine for the eye to see, yet, it is the very thing that binds, that takes pieces and laces them into a whole.

Without it, there are tatters.

It is never too late for a man to learn to stitch, to begin mending.

These are the things I would tell that young father, if I could.

A daughter grown up quickly. There isn’t time to waste.

I love you,
Dad

― Lisa Wingate

neologism


neologism – early 19th century: from French néologisme . A newly coined word or expression. – Words or expressions used within a profession, industry or group.

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work. ~~Carl Sandburg

Slang – The subset of a language.  It’s a type of communication that includes words and phrases that are generally informal and usually restricted to the people of a specific age, group, gender, or location. Secret speak, private coms, military acronyms, etc.  Communications that no one understands but the people within that special group or clan.  It’s the mother tongue of an entire nation down to the the quiet understanding of family that grew up in the same house and often does not even involve words.  

“Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)” ~~ Douglas Adams Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy

The language of sisters is even more private.  It’s a language that started straight out of the womb, through the good times, the bad hair, the break ups, and the births.  Through the rough spots where you stop talking completely to the devastating losses that bring you bring you back together.  From the beginning to the end.

“Sisters don’t need words. They have perfected their own secret language of smiles, sniffs, sighs, gasps, winks and eye rolls.” ~~ Unknown

My sisters

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“Sisters may drive you crazy, get into your stuff and irritate you.                        However, if anyone else dares say so, a sister will defend you to the death.”                      ~~ Unknown

Followed by my daughters – the apples do not fall far from the trees.  Nor, apparently, do the experiences!! 

“We are sisters. We will always be sisters. Our differences may never go away, but neither, for me, will our song.”- Elizabeth Fishel 

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“At this point, none of us are sure why we fight. We’re sisters. We need no good reason to fight, even though we have plenty of them.” ~~ Ken Wheaton 

Pidgin – An amalgamation of two disparate languages, used by two populations having no common language as a lingua franca to communicate with each other, lacking formalized grammar and having a small, utilitarian vocabulary and no native speakers. Restructured language.

Vernacular – Adjective: Used in or suitable for everyday conversation rather than formal or official contexts. Of, or pertaining to, everyday or colloquial language. Limited to a particular area. Of the indigenous inhabitants of a place. From or in a nearby location. Noun: The language or dialect spoken by the ordinary people in a particular country or region. Commonly known term.

Argot – A secret language or conventional slang peculiar to thieves, tramps and vagabonds

“Well,’ said Can o’ Beans, a bit hesitantly,’ imprecise speech is one of the major causes of mental illness in human beings.’
Huh?’
Quite so. The inability to correctly perceive reality is often responsible for humans’ insane behavior. And every time they substitute an all-purpose, sloppy slang word for the words that would accurately describe an emotion or a situation, it lowers their reality orientations, pushes them farther from shore, out onto the foggy waters of alienation and confusion.’
The manner in which the other were regarding him/her made Can O’ Beans feel compelled to continue. ‘The word neat, for example, has precise connotations. Neat means tidy, orderly, well-groomed. It’s a valuable tool for describing the appearance of a room, a hairdo, or a manuscript. When it’s generically and inappropriately applied, though, as it is in the slang aspect, it only obscures the true nature of the thing or feeling that it’s supposed to be representing. It’s turned into a sponge word. You can wring meanings out of it by the bucketful–and never know which one is right. When a person says a movie is ‘neat,’ does he mean that it’s funny or tragic or thrilling or romantic, does he mean that the cinematography is beautiful, the acting heartfelt, the script intelligent, the direction deft, or the leading lady has cleavage to die for? Slang possesses an economy, an immediacy that’s attractive, all right, but it devalues experience by standardizing and fuzzing it. It hangs between humanity and the real world like a . . . a veil. Slang just makes people more stupid, that’s all, and stupidity eventually makes them crazy. I’d hate to ever see that kind of craziness rub off onto objects.”   ~~ Tom Robbins

Languages:  Alexis; Secret Language of Winter; Misky; MjDixit; ContentCatnip; BHW; dragonflypoetry; MSnubutterflies; thoughtsmith; lacaschronicles; FamFriendDB; Family’s secret language; vox; storyreadingape

 

Brouhaha


Brouhaha. This is a word we are sure many people have heard and it is still used a lot today. This refers to an uproar or big event.

“If your tendency is to make sense out of chaos, start chaos.”   -Carlos Castaneda

Definitions:  noun
  1. a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something.

It’s a word that can mean dispute, argument, altercation, disturbance, commotion, upset, agitation, uprising, etc.

“Chaos is inherent in all compound things. Strive on with diligence.”   -Buddha     

However, I love this word.  Partly because it is fun to say and partly because i feel it describes every single time I am able to get together with friends or family.  Quiet we are not.  And yes, sometimes in my life, it also means all of the above negative words.. but usually it all ends up being pure and good time spent together and just a lot of noisy activity.

“Chaos is a good thing.” -Robert Lepage 

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“See, I think there are roads that lead us to each other. But in my family, there were no roads – just underground tunnels. I think we all got lost in those underground tunnels. No, not lost. We just lived there.”  ― Benjamin Alire Sáenz

“I want to create a little chaos and make people’s heads turn.”    -Scott Caan

Noise: annamosca; Michael; reenabist; Eugenia; hobbo; Littlelearner; oluwafunkemorountonu; Crazygreenthumbs; steph; Karissa; tgeriatrixSaba; Yamini; Irene; 365: marsha; kirt; jeanne; silver; sue; Naturebitch; Sustainability; Patchwork ; Roamingurbangypsy; Piecesofstarlight; Poetry; Naomi; Plants; Still-life; Butterflies; Nowathome  Other Colorful blogs:  Michelle; Lumar; Kila; Mirador; Wind; Quotidian; PDJpix; Naomi; Grieflessons; 2geeks3knots; Writeouttanowhere; rewired; Oh the places we see; Wooly; Ledrake; Figments

Querencia


Querencia (adjective) Origin: Spanish | que·ren·cia  A place where one feels safe, A place where one feels at home.

When I was a baby, I was afraid of everything and everyone. It didn’t matter who was around.  It didn’t matter what I was doing.  I was just afraid. Even if I didn’t look like it, I was.  Mom and dad would tell me stories of how I would jump at everything.  I would scream and cry at the introduction of everything new. When I look at my baby picture, I just wonder what the heck was going on in my little pea brain.  I wonder why I was so afraid.

At some point in my life, that all changed and for the most part I have felt safe and at home pretty much where ever I happened to be.  It didn’t matter who was around.  It didn’t matter what I was doing.  When I saw this word, I had to really think about what Querencia currently means to me.  At first I thought to myself, I feel pretty confident where ever I am and in pretty much every situation.  

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.  ~ Maya Angelou

However, when I re-read the actual definition, “A place where one feels safe.  A place where one feels at home.”  I had to seriously ask myself where that place is.  I could not, off the top of my head really say that I felt that there was an actual place where that would be true.  These days, I feel slightly more restless and not very safe.  

I started going through some old photos and it was strange.  Years ago, I would have said that this place existed when I was with my children.  I did my best to make their lives safe and comfortable.  They were babies and I was their mom, their protector.  I’m not sure that would be my answer right now.  Kids grow up, things change. Life happens.  Drama ensues.  I hope one day I can go back to that feeling.  There will always be love, but it hasn’t felt like home for some time.

Even before kids, I would have said it was when I was around my younger sister. We did everything together.  I trusted her to be my solid.  My one bestie that I could always depend on.  I think that has also changed. Life happens.  Emotions held back, words left unsaid hanging in the air. Doubts and fears and who knows what.  But it changes.  I hope that one day I can go back to that feeling.  There will always be love, but it also has not felt like home for some time.

I have some special friends that always make me feel safe and comfortable.  But at home?  We are always so busy that we can’t always make the time.  I always feel good when I am around them but the times around them are so short and so far apart that the home piece is missing.  It’s because I live so far away.  The relationship building is hard to do so far away.  I have some friends that I connect with frequently and when we come together, no matter how long we have been apart, it feels like home and it feels safe.  It’s just the darn suitcases that remind me that I’m not really home.

But then, I came across some pictures of my older sister.  Even though we didn’t hang out much when we were little and we fought like cats and dogs as we grew, she was always my protector when I really needed her.  She has been consistent and the same our entire lives.  She has opened her house to me and visited me when I was down, picked me up from teen heartbreak, joined the Navy like I had, raised kids like I had, and so many other things.  She’s the one to placate a situation. She’s the peacemaker.  She will make me laugh when I go over the ledge rather than help me jump.  I don’t like getting all stressed and down and she doesn’t let me feel sorry for myself but she does it in a way that is kind.  She never tries to over-analyze every situation I need to talk about.  She lets me flow and grow and feel safe.  She’s much better at it than I am.  I feel safe, unjudged, and familiar when I am around her.  I love her for this. I feel safe around her for this.  I feel at home around her for this.  Thanks sis.

    Querencia:  Rhapsody; keshy; hope; Varsha; Rebecca; 1227; sanguine; jessica; heartmind; Dylan; Pennie

 

 

 

Ukiyo


Ukiyo (noun) Origin: Japanese | The floating world – Living in the moment, detached from the bothers of life.

A hard translation of this word dates back to Japan’s Edo-period as it describes the urban lifestyle, and a famous related word is ukiyo-e or Japanese art paintings of the ‘Floating World’ or of our fleeting life and transient world.

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I was fortunate enough to take a vacation with my daughter to Croatia.  I let her plan the entire trip.  Where we stayed, where we ate, what we did.  It was one of my favorite trips.  I didn’t have to make any decisions (only had to pay for everything.. haha)

I sat on this very cool spot for hours in Zadar, Croatia.  We visited this place again and again throughout the day because it was just interesting and beautiful.  It was mesmerizing.  Next to it was an ocean organ.  They were steps that went into the water and when the waves came up it would sound like an organ. Seeing people walk across this at different times of day made it seem like you were in another world.  At night it would light up.  I think it was one of our favorite places in Croatia.  The entire country was amazing and one day I will go back.

Croatia: inavukic; Dave; slovanians; lidija; michael; Ellen; viveka; maris; Isaiah; luke; kylie; isaac; Cameron; nathaniel; tina; ahoyne; somewhere; justtravel; chester

The Sea organ is an architectural sound art object located in Zadar, Croatia and an experimental musical instrument, which plays music by way of sea waves and tubes located underneath a set of large marble steps.

zadar