Dès Vu (noun) Origin: Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows | The awareness that this will become a memory.
ETYMOLOGY: From the French word dès vu, “seen as soon as” or “seen from this point forward”
Sometimes this is how I view the things I do as I am doing them. I travel a lot and have lived far away from everyone I know for a very long time. My long-standing and connected group of friends and family have built histories of togetherness and sameness. Sometimes I am jealous of them. Sometimes they say they are jealous of me.
This has been my intent and my dream and I have chosen this life and have very few regrets. I turn 54 this month and though this is still young, I am quite far from my mid-life stage. I mean really? I truly do not expect to live to 108. I do have some decades in front of me but sometimes when I am looking ahead, I can’t help but already feel disconnected from what is directly in front of me. I feel like the present has already happened and I begin to miss moments at the exact time I am experiencing them. I know that in minutes it will be gone and all that will remain is the memory of what once was…
“Once in a while you look up, and watch as the present turns into a memory, as if some future you is already looking back on it.“
“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.”
“The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we’d done were less real and important than they had been hours before.”