Meraki


Meraki (noun) Origin: Greek | Putting part of yourself into what you are doing.

This is a modern Greek word that’s often used to describe the instance wherein you leave a part of yourself (your soul, creativity, or love) in your work — so it’s like when you intensely love to do something or just about anything that you put something of yourself into it.

Love myself I do. Not everything, but I love the good as well as the bad. I love my crazy lifestyle, and I love my hard discipline. I love my freedom of speech and the way my eyes get dark when I’m tired. I love that I have learned to trust people with my heart, even if it will get broken. I am proud of everything that I am and will become. ~ Johnny Weir

I started this blog in July of 2012.  I initially started writing this and showing off the places, people, food, and art to help my kids be a part of what I was doing.  For the most part, they are largely oblivious that I am still writing this.  Initially I did it for them, but I have realized that over the years,  this blog has been something I have been doing as much, if not more, for myself as for them.  

Every time I go back and read what I have written, I can place myself in the exact place or state of mind I was in when I wrote it.  The pictures encapsulate where I was, and sometimes who I was, at that particular place and time.  A lot of what I wrote cracks me up.  Reminds me that I have not made gigantic philosophical leaps over time.  I am still the silly, weird, dorky, child that I was at 10.  I still wander and wonder about all of the things I come across. It takes very little to amuse me, make me smile, and/or destroy me.

I have on occasion gone back over some of my posts and have felt slightly embarrassed because what I wrote was a bit too ridiculous and stream of consciousness style.  I have considered deleting some posts for that reason, but changed my mind.  Those posts are likely more me than many of the other more lucid posts.  I am Sam, Sam I am, I am what I am. Auspicious beginnings was one of the first posts I wrote and yes, even now it is all true.

I put my all of me into my blog.  My soul, creativity, and love.  I started a diary when I was 9 years old (1976 if you struggle with math). Ironically, it took me over a year to start writing in it.  Like all diaries, I started out writing daily 9 year old drama and eventually moved to weekly, monthly, and eventually yearly entries.  In 2013, my daughter gave me a new diary called “The Happiness Journal” I wrote in that one for five years every single day.  I cannot honestly say those things were the happiest things I could have thought of, but they were also all me.

It’s so bizarre.  I can see myself in each of those pages in full form.  The love, hate, funny, angry, and sad person that wove me through my life.  I am 54 years old now and I imagine that at some point my kids will find this slab of my mind in print and laugh and cry as they work their way through what is likely going to be a 50+ year retrospective of my imagined but really felt joys and failures.

Seriously, leave me alone I was only 10!! Cracks me up though and I can seriously see angry little Sami, stonily sitting in her basement bedroom furiously writing out my little world’s woes.  Ah to be 10 again!

When my daughters were born, I began a journal of their lives and when they turned 17 or so, they were completely filled with my random wonderings of their lives and I presented these to them as a Christmas present one year.  I believe that they each still have that documentary evidence of my love for them during the first part of their lives.  I hope that they know that all of those words, photos, clippings bring back memories to me that are as real and poignant to me now as they were when I entered them into and onto those pages.

So my meraki appears to be documenting my own life and experiences and even the life and experiences of the ones I love.  I have been diligent about it.  Accurate to my own first-hand experiences and memories.  If you have read anything I have written here or looked at anything I have painted there.  You will see me.  You will see what I saw.  You will see and understand the things that have been important to me.  The things that are still important to me.  I hope you have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy the ride and the read.

Meraki mumblings:  Leha; Pooja; Princess; Merakisbsc; Gavin; Whisperer; Jess; Adyeshablog; Roy; DanielleAnika

.

Abibliophobia


Is this word even real?

Abibliophobia describes my world in 2020 and beyond.  I googled it and it appears to be real.  However, i wonder if it is even a real word.  It seems to have only been around as long as the internet. I have nearly gone through my entire reading pile that I brought with me.  It has been awesome and yet now that the pile has dwindled, i am starting to feel a little abibliophobic.  I have asked friends to send me good books, I have purchased more online, I have raided the bookshelves at work.  Between COVID-19, lack of travel, and just wanting to stay out of the line of fire, my stockpile has just about been eliminated. 

I’m not afraid of many things, but I hate to be left alone or held hostage by certain circumstances with only my thoughts.  Left in a waiting room or stuck on the pot, I read leaflets, cereal boxes, adverts and rot.  

Urban Dictionary – An intense, all-consuming fear of running out of things to read.
I just finished rereading Eclipse for the eighteenth time and Breaking Dawn doesn’t come out for another month and a half… -burncrashdie-

Abibliophobia is quickly becoming an epidemic, but not quickly enough.
 
“ Even when reading is impossible, the presence of books acquired produces such an ecstasy that the buying of more books than one can read is nothing less than the soul reaching towards infinity… We cherish books even if unread, their mere presence exudes comfort, their ready access reassurance. ”~A.E Newton

Speaking of frightful words, a curious fear I’ve suffered from on occasion, especially on long airplane flights, is abibliophobia, the fear of not having enough to read. 

Another word I didn’t think was real? 

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, which is one of the longest words in the dictionary — and, in an ironic twist, is the name for a fear of long words. I’m guessing there is really a word for everything.

Wait.. there IS a word for everything: the universe, every little thing, all things. aggregate, totality, barrel, the whole shebang, the whole schmear, everth, all-that, tock and barrel, the kitchen sink, the works, entirety, total, whole, the whole kit and caboodle, the whole shooting match, lock stock and barrel, part and parcel, the whole ball of wax, megillah, etc, etc 

READ – Kristin; society; nightpoetry; dlogger; bex; kitten; maisy; selorm; sian; kjoakes

Day 26 ~ Who be They


I honestly do not have a whole lot to say today but I have committed to making it to Day 30 in a row.  So close.  Lucky for me I always have a random thought, or a multitude of random thoughts in my head that I often do not share.  Today’s first thought of the day was, “Who be they?” I’m not sure why I woke up with that thought but here it is.

So – to explain it, I would stay that it usually involves blame for your own life not working out as well as you thought it would.  Every time something goes wrong . . . it’s natural to assume that someone else is at fault or just had better luck than you did.

It’s easy to say things like, “If only they would have/would not have…” or “Why are they always trying to …”. “I can’t believe they…” Or what about, “They are so lucky!”

I will not say it’s never their fault, (whose fault?) But seriously, who be THEY?  Who are the magical they folks?  They are so lucky, they are so mean, they always get what they deserve. They always get what they want.  I try not to blame them (who?) but sometimes I can’t help it. Most of the time I don’t want to be anything other than what I’m trying to be lately (I told you I plagiarize but always give credit) But sometimes, I can’t help trying to be like them. (WHO!!! You know, THEM!!)  It never works out.  I do not have it in me to be anything but me.  It just never works out to try to match their style, their tone, their attitude. (I wish I knew who they were.)

If you know you are on the right track, if you have this inner knowledge, then nobody can turn you off… no matter what they say. ~ Barbara McClintock

I woke up this morning to Alicia Keys “Underdog” and just felt happy by the end of the song.  I read she wrote the song to inspire the overlooked and underestimated and I realized that she was talking about the theys.  I mean some of them.. in my opinion the majority of the theys are the underdogs.

I am a they.  I have always been a they and that’s ok.  Here’s to the theys.. to the yous.. to all of the ones who are the underdogs.  Who are the ones who are just trying to be what they are trying to be. Cups up and have a great day!

Alicia Keys “Underdog
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
She was walking in the street, looked up and noticed
He was nameless, he was homeless
She asked him his name and told him what hers was
He gave her a story ’bout a life
With a glint in his eye and a corner of a smile
One conversation, a simple moment
The things that change us if we notice
When we look up, sometimes
They said I would never make it
But I was built to break the mold
The only dream that I’ve been chasing is my own
So I sing a song for the hustlers trading at the bus stop
Single mothers waiting on a check to come
Young teachers, student doctors
Sons on the frontline knowing they don’t get to run
This goes out to the underdog
Keep on keeping at what you love
You’ll find that someday soon enough
You will rise up, rise up,…

Gavin DeGraw  ” I Don’t Want to Be

I don’t need to be anything other
Than a prison guard’s son
I don’t need to be anything other
Than a specialist’s son
I don’t have to be anyone other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I’m going, is knowing where I’m coming from
I don’t want to be
Anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms
Wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
I’m surrounded by liars
Everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by imposters
Everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by identity crisis
Everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed? I can’t be the only one who’s learned
I don’t want to be
Anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms
Wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone’s attention please?
If you’re not like this and that, you’re gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situation-made from clay to stone
And now I’m telling everybody
I don’t want to be
Anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms
Wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be
I don’t want to be…

Day 2 – Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.


So says Regina Brett, a 90 (but really 54 year) old woman who has recently risen to internet/FB/ fame and has gone viral.  Now admittedly, she is not the first person to spout these life lessons.  Remember, they are universal!

Just wanted to post one of my favorites.  I hope you enjoy.

“I am an artist you know … it is my right to be odd.”
― E.A. Bucchianeri

Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple. (or blue as the case may be)

65765_10152515335498282_6068114354672133287_n

“I am not eccentric. It’s just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of catfish.”
― Edith Sitwell

“I’d rather be a little weird than all boring.”
― Rebecca McKinsey

“In this age, the mere example of non-conformity, the mere refusal to bend the knee to custom, is itself a service. Precisely because the tyranny of opinion is such as to make eccentricity a reproach, it is desirable, in order to break through that tyranny, that people should be eccentric. Eccentricity has always abounded when and where strength of character has abounded; and the amount of eccentricity in a society has generally been proportional to the amount of genius, mental vigor, and moral courage which it contained. That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time.”
― John Stuart Mill

Other posts I found inspiring

The Art of Disorder; Android; Writingmylife; philosophy; scream; adventures; tongueincheek

Perspective


It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. – Henry David Thoreau

FE4E5B2D-F65E-4A68-96F6-CE3CC4179944

I like to turn things upside down, to watch pictures and situations from another perspective. – Ursus Wehrli

Thrown up on the fridge, in a very random order, you can barely tell what is what or where is where…

It’s not even that big …

colors … shapes … random letters …

no politics … no rhetoric … no anger or hate …

Despite the randomness … you know what it is .. what it will become … and you almost do not want to finish it …

Even though you know that in it’s finished form it can be, and is, very beautiful … you sort of want it to remain unfinished.  Or even better.. you want to start over .. with the knowledge you have right now..

Fix what is broken .. toss in a dash more color and light and innocence.  See, we have perspective now. It would be different.. right?  Knowing what we know now.. it would be different..  right?

The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don’t have control over your situation, but you have control over how you view it.  – Chris Pine