Happy birthdeathsary Dad..


October has been a month dedicated strictly to my dad.  It is the month of his birth as well the month of his death.  Every day on Facebook I have posted a picture of and a story relating to my dad that I think coincides to the story.  As stated in my last post, he was an amazing man and the most amazing man I have encountered in my life.

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right.   ~~~Wade Boggs

October 1 – Dad, Mom, and the grandmas – 

It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ~~~Anne Sexton

October 2  &  3  – Dad and me about 2010 -and the  darn  family!! 

My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~~~Clarence Budington Kelland

Oct 4 – Dad and some sisters at L&E.. I know it’s the Sportsman cafe but will always belong to L & E to my heart.

My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad. ~~~Beau Bridges

October 5 – Dad’s younger days.  Reminding  me  and  teaching  me…  my  worth  ..  my  value..  day  by  day  

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. ~~~Marlo Thomas

October 6 – One of my very favorite photos. Mom and dad looking so young, Patricia and Veronica not looking any different these days, and me looking slightly crazed. This photo immortalized into a deck of cards after dad’s passing by Dori (Thank you so much)! Nothing but hearts and smiles in my heart right now and every time I look at this.

My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. ~~~Lee Iacocca

October 7 – An oldie but a goodie. Mom and dad. Both gave me humor.  Both gave me inspiration and ability. Both game me drive and determination.  But only one.. only one.. gave me 100% unconditional love.  Every time.. all the time…

A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remain as a pillar of strength throughout our lives. ~~~Ama H. Vanniarachchy

October 8 – This one is for missing yesterday.. so weird to think that I am older now than my mom or dad was in this picture.. an obvious thing but so weird how you can outlive a memory that feels like it was only yesterday.

Dad is and always will be my living, breathing superhero. ~~~ Bindi Irwin

October 9 –

Dad and his truck… probably some of my favorite one-on-one times! Just me and him driving down 90 or 94.. he’d let me call out to other truckers.. breaker breaker this is 2 can sam (cb name that started as a tease from my sisters becoming coolest name ever).. chats about everything from books to jokes.. oh the stories he could tell.. (I once met a man on the road with such greasy hair.. flies would just slide right off) one day after I had been talking nonstop.. dad pointed out the window and said..”you see that mountain Sami? It’s probably about 50 miles away now. What do you see?” I spent the next 50 miles looking quietly.. then making a guess.. I never saw what he was looking at..before he passed.. talking through memories of road trips, I remembered that.. I asked him about it.. he remembered it too.. I asked him what he had been looking at.. his eyes teared up.. so did mine.. but instead of crying he started laughing.. I was like… what?!? He could barely speak he was laughing so hard .. and between gasps.. he finally got it out…
NOTHING he saw nothing.. he was just trying to get me to shut up!!! Hahahaha!! 40+ years thinking about what was on the mountain.. that man.. he knew how to keep a long joke going.. we laughed so hard.. yeah! Dad, love ya… still laughing..

October 10 –

My good people as you pass by
as you are now so once was I.
As I am now you soon will be ,
prepare yourself to follow me.

It was my father who taught me to value myself. ~~~ Dawn French

October 11 –

Dad … CHOSE … me.
When I was about 26 years old, I found out that dad was not my biological dad. I was the only one who didn’t know, and the only one who didn’t freak out. I was amazed by it. Not broken by it. Apparently he made it clear to everyone he didn’t want me to know he wasn’t my biological dad because he didn’t want me to ever feel like I didn’t fit in. I believe it was truly the only secret my family was ever able to keep. I spent my life knowing that I was loved by my dad. But up until that very moment, I had never really known that me, being loved by dad, was not just a biological inevitability, but a deliberate and hard thought out choice that he made. The fact I never knew and would never have known … well, that says way more than words ever could.
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. ~~~Spike Milligan

October 12-
This is just one more example of why dad was special. Never one to skip a laugh. Never one to not join in with our own jokes. Miss your humor dad.
My father was not a failure. After all, he was the father of a president of the United States. ~~~Harry S Truman

October 13 –
I guess you could say these two have always been my favorite men. The only two who made me feel comfortable enough to be silent. I’m not saying silence happened often. I’m just saying that their calmness created calm inside of me.
No matter what was going on, they were unflappable. .. dad and grandpa…grandpa and dad. They both had an amazing sense of humor. Grandpa was a little quieter than dad and that’s saying a lot because dad was pretty darn quiet at times. While dad always had a book with him grandpa always had some kind of activity going on. You can’t blame dad because he was surrounded by very talkative women.
So many stories about each of them. I remember having my first car and letting one of my friends drive I decided to go visit my grandpa. I told my friend to take a right a little bit too late and she ran into his fence knocking down the entire gateway. When we pulled to a stop we tried switching places so he would think I did it and by the time we switched seats and looked up, he was standing directly in front of us. Had seen the whole thing. Didn’t say a word. He put his rake against the wall, grabbed his hammer and some nails and went to repair the fence. Grandpa and dad never once brought this incident up in any negative way.
My friend and I still talk about this. Grandpa and dad actually laughed about this until the very end. Completely unflappable. Miss you both!

My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’ ~~~Dave Chappelle

October 14 – 

Getting close to dads birthday now and thought I would go way,way, way back with him. High school senior picture I think. Has always been a reminder to me that when I see some old geezer walking down the street all cranky and full of piss and vinegar.. they were young once too. Bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to conquer the world.
Fast forward about 36 years. Mom and dad helping me put a new roof on my house. End of day. Dad and I go to that old bar in Hillyard that is at the top of green street down from Amicarrellas (sp?) sitting in there having a beer and and he says to me, “See that kid walking in? How old do you think he is?” I replied at least 21, we are in a bar dad. He was like.. no, no I know.. but how old do you think he is?
Now not many know this about dad but he was a thinker. Always had been. So when he asked a second time, well I knew he was about to make a point. So I guessed 23-24. He said, “Exactly! And every day I get up.. that’s how old I feel like I am. And as I get out of bed with bones creaking and pass a mirror.. I always ask my reflection.. who the FK is this ol’ bstrd looking back at me. Life goes by so quickly Sami-don’t forget that.”
I never have! Love you dad.

Everything my mother and father did was designed to put me where I am. ~~~Henry Louis Gates

October 15

Man you gotta love the 80s. This is basically proof that I wasn’t just a daddy’s girl.. heck I was a daddy’s teen.. followed by a daddy’s woman .. eventually I was a daddy’s Grammy Sami…

Being a daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life.” ~~~Marinela Reka

October 16

Sometimes you forget that your parents also have parents… have lost parents.. as much as I was a daddy’s girl.. dad was a momma’s boy. Not in today’s interpretation of the word.. but he was just a kid who, through his life, LOVED his momma. My grandma. He also frequently tried to emulate his daddy. But his mom.. that’s where his heart was.

A father needs to be the standard against which she will judge all men. ~~~Gregory E.

October 17

When I think of this group, I think of happy gatherings. Holidays. Anniversaries. Birthdays. Only 2 remain. That doesn’t make me sad. Sometimes wistful. But not sad. There is only one way out of this messy, chaotic life. I try my best to celebrate that fact. Each and every day. I am not always successful at that. Sometimes I am a complete and utter failure at it. When that happens, and it has and it will happen again, I try not to beat myself up too hard. Before my mom passed..and during dad’s fight with cancer, I asked them both the same question and they both answered in relatively the exact same way. I try to always remind myself of their answer and pull myself up and once again carry on.
Me: Do you have any regrets?
Mom: Yeah. But what can you do about the past? All I can do is try to keep being me. A better me.
Dad: Of course. You can’t get through life successfully without em.. just gotta keep trucking.. hope for the best
So I just keep truckin..forgiving myself..trying to be a better me.. accepting of others more.. because none of us make it out of here alive and we are all just doing the best we can.

Fathers and daughters have a special bond. She is always daddy’s little girl. ~~~Richard L. Ratliff

October 18

This is by far my favorite picture of dad.  My daughters and dad just cutting a rug. When my sisters and I grew up, I think mom and dad had had enough of the kids, any kids, in their house.  So to be honest, we never spent much time with them.  They weren’t the huggy, lovey, kissy grandparents.  They didn’t beg for more time with the kids.  It always made me a little bit sad.  But I knew that they loved each other. I just don’t think they had enough time together.  Love is such an easy thing to forget.  Or just miss.

This picture is always a reminder to me that, if given the chance, and you let your guard down, there is always a chance for smiles and laughter.  I wish my daughters could have spent more good times with dad.  Times like this.  They loved him and he loved them. I am not sure that any of them REALLY knew it.    It’s just another reminder of how short time is. Let people know that you REALLY love them.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. — Gene Perret

A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life. ~~~ Dr. James Dobson

October 19

When I think of this group, I think of happy gatherings. Holidays. Anniversaries. Birthdays. Only 2 remain. That doesn’t make me sad. Sometimes wistful. But not sad. There is only one way out of this messy, chaotic life. I try my best to celebrate that fact. Each and every day. I am not always successful at that. Sometimes I am a complete and utter failure at it. When that happens, and it has and it will happen again, I try not to beat myself up too hard. Before my mom passed..and during dad’s fight with cancer, I asked them both the same question and they both answered in relatively the exact same way. I try to always remind myself of their answer and pull myself up and once again carry on.
Me: Do you have any regrets?
Mom: Yeah. But what can you do about the past? All I can do is try to keep being me. A better me.
Dad: Of course. You can’t get through life successfully without em.. just gotta keep trucking.. hope for the best
So I just keep truckin..forgiving myself..trying to be a better me.. accepting of others more.. because none of us make it out of here alive and we are all just doing the best we can.

October 20

This is likely one of my most common memories of dad. It’s just dad coming home. Happened all the time. It was a super common event. So why take a picture? Well, dad was a trucker. He was gone a lot. This could have been a normal day or a special event. But it doesn’t matter. Pretty much every time he came home it was special. I’d love to see him walk in a door again. Any door.

A father’s job is not to teach his daughter how to be a lady. It’s to teach her how a lady should be treated. ~~~ Unknown

October 21

Dad’s birthday is tomorrow. As I was scrolling through my photos I came across the mile 13 photo. This set photo is huge. It started as a trip dad wanted to take to visit mom’s resting place in Montana. Was supposed to be dad, me, and my sisters but turned into.. a 15 passenger van with pretty much the whole family… down to the grandkids! At first I think dad was annoyed.. but it’s one of the things he talked about during one of our last conversations. One of the most chaotic but best memories he had. He had planned this to be his last resting place. You had to drive through some beautiful country to get there… find mile marker 13, climb through someone’s fence, climb s bill…dad, my sis, and Mike drove there to scout it out.. apparently after som 60 years.. it was gone. It was a new development.. as dad put it to me.. ”Well, I was very disappointed. Yet surprised it had been left for so long. I can still feel the drop in my stomach. But what do ya do?” That led to us looking over the pictures of the trip.. when he got in the van to go visit mom.. his only thought had been…”WTF have I just got myself into!” I asked him how many times in his life had that thought popped into his head raising us. He looked at me and without a blink said, “Every FKN day!” Then laughed.. and said, “But like that trip, at the end of it, I have had more happy times than frustrated times and I don’t regret a thing.”

October 22 – Happy Birthday Dad.

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I love my daddy. My daddy’s everything. I hope I can find a man that will treat me as good as my dad.” ~~~Lady Gaga

My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways. ~~~ Sarah Orne Jewett

Daddy, thanks for being my hero, chauffeur, financial support, listener, life mentor, friend, guardian and simply being there every time I need a hug.  ~~~Agatha Stephanie Lin

Dad


This month is the 2nd anniversary of my dad’s passing.  I think of him several minutes out of every single day.  At different times he just pops into my mind. Sometimes a cloud shape, sometimes a semi-truck, sometimes a weird and funny event will cause him to just tumble through my brain.

He was the strongest, the most handsome and the friendliest man I have ever had the privilege of meeting.  He was the protector and provider always.  He could be gruff, but usually was only that way to scare the boys off of his 3 little girls.  He has always been my hero.  ALWAYS.

These words below were not his obviously, but weeks before he passed, he said some things very similar to my sisters and me.  Dad I miss you.  More than any words or photos can demonstrate. Love, Sami

Dear Deborah,

Words do not come easily for so many men. We are taught to be strong, to provide, to put away our emotions. A father can work his way through his days and never see that his years are going by. If I could go back in time, I would say some things to that young father as he holds, somewhat uncertainly, his daughter for the very first time. These are the things I would say:

When you hear the first whimper in the night, go to the nursery leaving your wife sleeping. Rock in a chair, walk the floor, sing a lullaby so that she will know a man can be gentle.

When Mother is away for the evening, come home from work, do the babysitting. Learn to cook a hotdog or a pot of spaghetti, so that your daughter will know a man can serve another’s needs.

When she performs in school plays or dances in recitals, arrive early, sit in the front seat, devote your full attention. Clap the loudest, so that she will know a man can have eyes only for her.

When she asks for a tree house, don’t just build it, but build it with her. Sit high among the branches and talk about clouds, and caterpillars, and leaves. Ask her about her dreams and wait for her answers, so that she will know a man can listen.

When you pass by her door as she dresses for a date, tell her she is beautiful. Take her on a date yourself. Open doors, buy flowers, look her in the eye, so that she will know a man can respect her.

When she moves away from home, send a card, write a note, call on the phone. If something reminds you of her, take a minute to tell her, so that she will know a man can think of her even when she is away.

Tell her you love her, so that she will know a man can say the words.

If you hurt her, apologize, so that she will know a man can admit that he’s wrong.

These seem like such small things, such a fraction of time in the course of two lives. But a thread does not require much space. It can be too fine for the eye to see, yet, it is the very thing that binds, that takes pieces and laces them into a whole.

Without it, there are tatters.

It is never too late for a man to learn to stitch, to begin mending.

These are the things I would tell that young father, if I could.

A daughter grown up quickly. There isn’t time to waste.

I love you,
Dad

― Lisa Wingate

Ineffable


Inefffable: (adj) Too great to be expressed in words. late Middle English: from Old French, or from Latin ineffabilis, from in- ‘not’ + effabilis

beautiful lines to rest yourself in – Venezuela

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. ~~ Douglas Adams

I attempt to surround myself with ineffable individuals.  I put them on a pedestal, not so much to elevate them, more in an endeavor to hoist myself to their awesomeness.  I seek to balance myself next to them and with my utmost energy work on becoming equal to them.

“Surround yourself with those who won’t compete but will revel in your success and see your ascent as a reflection of their own possibilities.”  ~~T.D. Jakes

When you surround yourself with negativity and ugly, I think you become that.  I have been scolded by many for appearing to run away from problems.  I have tried to explain that I am not running away from anything, just trying to run towards solutions, happiness, and the amazing light that I find when moving away from the dark.

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”  ~~ A. A. Milne

I seek the company of dreamers and achievers, those with strength, dignity, ethics, and humor.  My best companions, friends, and mentors are those that strive for the best, even when surrounded by the worst and build me up, helping me to build up others.

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“Surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself!”  ~~Zig Ziglar

Ofelia; Rob; Ben; Tvisha; Ktrammel; Janeen; Abvr; Tim; Carole; Mark: Hamish

choreophile 


choreophile may be used for someone who loves dancing. ‘phile’ is usually used for a person who ‘loves’.

“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.
― Rumi

Hoedown –

These articles were taken from a Mrs. Roberts, who lived in the same house with her, while the owner was tripping it on the “light fantastic toe” at a hoe-down, break-down, “whoop-ze-zaw,” or some other merry-making that kept her from home until the break of day.
—The Baltimore Sun, 10 Jun. 1839

hoedown

Waltz-

Had his old Guernsey friends been present on these occasions they would not have recognized in the soldier, resplendent in a general’s uniform, now dancing a mazurka, the handsome stripling who only a few years since had waltzed his way into the hearts of all the women of St. Peter’s Port.
—Walter R. Nursey, The Story of Isaac Brock, Hero, Defender and Saviour of Upper Canada, 1908

waltz

Sashay-

She made new friends with the older girls at school and soon had them walking like her: stomach tucked in, buttocks rolling like well-oiled joints and head held high, their jaws opening and closing as chewing gum klikked and klakked in their mouths. “These girls are heading straight to oku mmuo, hell,” our parents warned as the girls sashayed by and we secretly prayed to go to hell with them, just for a chance to be that glamorous.
—Chika Unigwe, Sugar in My Bowl (in Matatu 33), 2006

sashay

Shimmy –

”I asked if the car had been in a major accident and the salesman said, ‘Oh, no, we don’t sell cars that have been in major accidents.’” But when his daughter drove the car home, he said, “the car was shimmying so badly” that she said she could barely control it. —Henry Gilgoff, Newsday (Long Island, NY), 26 Sept. 1973

shimmy

Boogie –

The girls were so lovely and “boogied” so scintillatingly that one person was heard to remark, “Goodness, I’m certainly glad my husband couldn’t be here tonight.”
—The Chicago Defender, 1 Nov. 1941

boogie

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

 Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. ~ George Bernard Shaw

fandango, two-step, cakewalk, break, bust a groove, crunk, cut a rug, freak, footwork, get funky, get your swerve on, ghost ride the whip, juke, pogoing, rave, etc

disco · samba · tango · 2-step · boogie · conga · foxtrotroth; quiall; rachel; pvcann; katiemiafrederick; fabio; salsaworldtravelerAaarrrrr!! Klutzy; Country Line Dances; Old Time Dance; My Time To Dance;  Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy; A banana, a ghost and a dash of foxtrot in Blackpool